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Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit. Charles: You hooked me like a fish, Bender. You scaled me, you gutted me, you stuffed me and fried me, chewed me up, swallowed me, and shat me out again! Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: An erection is a flagpole on your grave. Charles Ossining: With friends like you, who needs enemas? Endymion Hart-Jones: The enemas take some getting used to, but, in time, you'll learn to look forward to them like an old friend with a cold nose. Ida Muntz: Do you masticate, Mr. Lightbody? Eleanor Lightbody: I wanted to be more than a hole in the mattress that answers to a name. Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: Build up your resolve, not your genitals! Goodloe Bender: Health! The 'open sesame' to the sucker's purse! Virginia Cranehill: Marriage is just legalized prostitution, my dear. William Lightbody: You were masturbating!
Dr. Lionel Badger: I was not! I was massaging my colon!
William Lightbody: I know what the colon is, sir, and it does not stick up into the air!
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