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It has Warped my fragile little mind.
-Cartman Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?
-Saddam Hussein How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
-Satan ...I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
-Mr. Garrison Okay Kenny, everyone knows you can't light a fart on fire!
-Cartman Goodbye, you guys.
-Kenny unhooded It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars and the world is still glad to be rid of him.
-Anchorman what? there just words!
-cartman *Mr. Garisson*: What's five times two?....
*Clyde*: Twelve?
*Mr. Garisson*: OK now let's try and get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.
-Mr. Garisson and Clyde Cartman:Why wont you just suck my balls Mr.Garrison?
Mr.Garrison:Excuse me?
Cartman:Oh Oh im sorry [picks up a megaphone]
Cartman:Why wont you just suck me balls Mr. Garrison?!
[Mr.Garrison in shock]
-Cartman and Mr.Garrison Cartman singing:On Monday shes a b&^*@ on Tuesday shes a b&^*@ on Wensday,Saturday shes a b&^*@, then on Sunday just to be different shes a super king kamehameha biatch!
-cartman Stan:What will brian boitano do if he was here today im sure he'll kick an ass or two cause thats what brian boitano do....
Man:did somebody call my name?
Kyle:who the f**** are you?
man:Im Brian denehy
Stan
-stan kyle and man Man:Did some one call my name?
Stan:whothe F&%* are you?
Man:oh im Brian denehy
Kyle:No not brian denehy!
Stan:So yeah get the F&%* outta here!
Man:Okay
-Stan Kyle and Man "Shut up, fat boy!"
"Hey! Don't call me fat, you f***ing jew!"
-Kyle and Cartman Careful?Was my mother careful when she poked a clothes hanger in my heart while i was still in the womb?
-The Mole Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison? Stan and Kyle: (Singing) "Why did our mothers start this war? What the f*** are they fighting for? When did this song become a marathon?" (both laughing)
Terrance: Well Phillip,
i hope you learned something
through this whole experience.
Phillip: I did Terrance,
i learned that you are a boner-biting
D*** fart F*** face!
(both laughing again)
Terrance: you want to see the Northern Lights?
(lights a fart on fire, gets burned and laughing)
Phillip: HAHAHAHA!
you burned yourself to death
by lighting your fart!
Terrence: i sure did Phillip!
(both laughing again)
both: UNCLE F**KAAAAAAAA
Tonight! Terrance: Shut your F***ing face uncle f***er!
you're a c*** sucking a*** licking uncle f***er!
you're an uncle f***er yes it's true
nobody f***s uncles quite like you!
Phillip: Shut your f***ing face uncle f***aaaa
you're the one that f***ed your uncle, uncle f***aaaa
you don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn
you just f*** your uncle all day long!
-Terrance and Phillip News Anchor: Minister, parents are concerned
about your country's entertainment, your thoughts?
Minister: Well the film is R-rated
and it's not intended for children and...
Sheila: Well but of course children are going
to see it!
Minister: Can i finish?
the fact is that we Canadians
are quite surprised by your outrage!
Sheila: You Just Don't Care!
Minister: Can i finish? huh?
can i, can i finish?
the United States has graphic violence
on television all the time.
we can't believe that a movie
with some foul language would
piss you off so much!
Sheila: BECAUSE IT"S EVIL!!!
Minister: CAN I FINISH!?
PLEASE CAN I FINISH!?
(silent for five seconds)
Minister: Okay i'm finished.
News Anchor: But Minister
it's not like this is the first troublesome
thing to come out of Canada
let us not forget Bryan Adams.
Minister: No No the Canadian government
has apologized for Bryan Adams on
several occasions.
Sheila: you Canadians are all the
same with your beady little eyes
and flapping heads and...
Minister: I RESENT THAT!
i find that racist and...
Sheila: our children are now addicted
to your...
Minister: you are a racist ma'am!
you are a racist!
Sheila: it's going to take us weeks
to erase the damage this film
has done to our children!
-News Anchor, the Canadian Minister of movies,
and Sheila Broflosky Sheila: Terrance and Phillip,
those Canadians!?
Mr. Mackey: Excuse me but
what in the heck is Terrance and Phillip?
Sheila: Terrance and Phillip
are two VERY untalented actors
from Canada,
nothing but foul language
and toilet humor!
Mr. Mackey: Well i guess i'll have
to send a warning letter out to
parents before more students see Terrance and Phillip!
-Sheila Broflosky and Mr. Mackey
You Think Mr.Garrison would say "Eat Penguin Shit You Ass-Be-Lunker" "I will do the German dance for you, it is fun, gay and tralala! I hope you will enjoy dance, ilapiyaiyay!"
- Eric Cartman (from the film's teaser trailer) Kyle's mom: What the heck is a Rimjaw.
Cartman's mom: That is where you put your legs behind your head and somebody licks your ass.
*all the parents in the room look at Cartman's mom*
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