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I'm not sorry for what I did. I have no regrets.
-Miriam My problem was I was a beautiful person who'd been kidnapped by an ugly body.
-Miriam Registration's gotta be the worst part of college next to studying.
-Jenny Hi, can I get in front of you? I just can't wait in line all day -- my tan'll fade!
-Heidi Once again, a fresh start at a new school... and I'm back in the end of the line.
-Miriam I was starting to realize by the time my turn came, I'd be too old to take it.
-Miriam ...While I was engaged to him, his wife became pregnant again, so I figured he wasn't sincere.
-Heidi I'm the only cheerleader who can do 35 flip-flops in a row!
-Heidi Would you stop that sneezing? It throws my timing off!
-Heidi The only person who ever asked me to go to bed was my mother.
-Miriam I think we ought to make our date for another night. Sometime... next semester.
-Fred Fall semester was 4 weeks old and I hadn't been asked out on a single date. And this was at a school with 5,000 male students!
-Miriam What was I doing wrong? What was I doing right? What should I be doing -- if I knew how to do it?
-Miriam A guy can't kiss his mother and get away with it!
-Miriam I'm 1st string, prob'ly all American, and he won't give me an automatic passing grade!
-Moose Miriam Knight? She's a dog!
-Charlie I finally convinced him to overlook my looks and let me help him get a passing grade.
-Miriam One night, he took me to a drive-in movie so I could explain the plot of Romeo & Juliet, and save him from reading it.
-Miriam Even though he tried to avoid being seen with me, I was thrilled to be seen with him, although he was difficult to see.
-Miriam So there I was. Had again without being kissed.
-Miriam ...She lived a full and happy life right up to the day of her suicide.
-Miriam Listen, if I was gonna loiter, I'd loiter somewhere nice and warm, like a bus terminal.
-Miriam You couldn't get me on a 432. That's intention of breaking and entering. You'd never prove it!
-Miriam Goodnight, Veroni comma Ralph.
-Miriam ...I tried to kill myself. At breakfast in the school cafeteria, I deliberately ate a 2nd helping of chipped beef on toast!
-Miriam Wine makes me feel very sexy.
-Miriam Why can't we be like other couples on their first date and go to a motel?
-Miriam Even though she's supposed to be pretty, I'll make the part believable.
-Miriam In my case, the most flattering light would be black.
-Miriam Hello, Miriam. I see you got my opening night roses.
-Heidi The entire time I was in the hospital, I was haunted by scenes from college.
-Miriam After all, who'd want to make love to a mummy? Except a drunken Egyptian.
-Miriam I tried to get here sooner but I was too busy.
-Herman Hey, you know, for somebody who tried to kill himself, you look terrific!
-Herman You were just miscast. They shoulda gotten somebody, uh... good looking, like Elizabeth Taylor!
-Herman Miriam, good always comes out of bad.
-Herman Miriam, give up. You've got to realize that you're a very plain girl and you've got to accept that, once and for all.
-Herman Anyway, we want you to be our Maid of Honor. That is, if you can ever walk again.
-Herman It was, uh, great watching you drink your supper.
-Herman I'm brand new! Okay, when do I turn back into a pumpkin? What's the catch?
-Miriam All of a sudden, men are crawling all over the new me, and underneath I'm the same person I always was.
-Miriam You're just packaged differently now.
-Doctor When I thought about all the unhappiness I had gone through, I was determined to pay it back... with interest.
-Miriam I told you one day you'd go after the wrong woman.
-Miriam I'm Miriam Knight. Remember?
-Miriam Surgeon: Next. Next! Have somebody fill out the death certificate!
-Surgeon My name's Moose Myers. How'd you like to go out tonight, get it on?
-Moose At half-time, the marching band is gonna form a coffin.
-Coach Look, I have only so many good years to catch a rich husband, so could you hurry up and tell me what you want?
-Heidi I'm sorry, she just dropped out of sight!
-Miriam Veroni: Is there anyone who would have wanted to see Heidi Murphy killed? Jenny: Oh, everyone!
-Veroni & Jenny What we're trying to tell you is, it's not like we lost a good friend.
-Lee Ann Moose, Heidi, the doctor, were all killed by the same mysterious woman -- a very clever operator, a super-criminal!
-Veroni The case is airtight, but what a break for me. It'll give me a chance to solve the perfect crime.
-Veroni How could he ever find the killer? He can't even find the door!
-Housemother You're entirely new! You've been remodeled. I've seen it done to a toilet before, but never to a person!
-Herman Tread water, darling. I'll go for help.
-Miriam I'll go to the Yellow Pages and let my fingers do the walking!
-Miriam Miriam, is this the way you were gonna take care of me?
-Herman This is no way for a plumber to end his days!
-Herman Live by the sword. Die by the sword.
-Miriam The one mistake I made was to go to Herman's funeral.
-Miriam It hurts all of us to see such a life go, as one might say, down the drain.
-Priest He is up there in that big bathroom in the sky.
-Priest Guess he got behind the 8-ball.
-Miriam I never figured on the old exploding 8-ball trick.
-Veroni All my life I've been looking for a man who would love me... for my mind.
-Miriam
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