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Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease.
-Samantha Dong. Where is my automobile?
-Howard I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek.
-Samantha I better get my magnifying glass. Ha Ha Ha.
-Grandpa Fred My brother paid a dollar last night to see your underwear.
-Randy Thanks for getting my undies back.
-Samantha No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.
-Long Duk Dong It'd be a major downer to try and get together with this girl and find out she really does think I'm a slime.
-Jake I'm being serious, ok. She looks at me like she's in love with me.
-Jake Maybe she's retarded
-Jock I do independent study with her. I catch her lookin' at me a lot. It's kinda cool, the way she's always lokkin' at me.
-Jake Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.
-Long Duk Dong What's happenin' hot stuff?
-Long Duk Dong Ooh. Sexy Girlfriend.
-Long Duk Dong Darling is something bothering you? ...you're acting like... an asshole. And I think I know what it is.I think you're jealous that I'm getting married and that I'm getting all the attention.
-Ginny Do you know how many times a week I go without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? Y'know, any halfway decent girl can rob me blind, because I'm too torqued up to say no.
-The Geek I've never bagged a babe. I'm not a stud.
-The Geek What was he wearing? Well, uh, let's see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... No, he's not retarded.
-Howard Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We're safe as kittens.
-The Geek Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?
-The Geek She's got her period. Should be an interesting honeymoon.
-Mike Baker Would you guys please hurry up, I'm breaking like 30 major laws here.
-The Geek Where the hell am I?
-The Geek I'll, uh, tell you where you are if you tell me who you are.
-Caroline I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I've had other men love me before, but not for six months in a row.
-Ginny Oh Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies.
-Grandma Helen I mean, not many girls in contemporary American society today would give their underwear to help a geek like me.
-The Geek I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up.
-Samantha This information cannot leave this room. Ok? It would devastate my reputation as a dude.
-The Geek Don't be such a poop.
-Caroline AUTOMOBILE...?
-Long Duk Dong I can't believe I'm actually going to consume this school hamburger..
-Samantha I just hope you burn the sheets and mattresses after he leaves.
-Mike No more yanky my wanky... the donger needs food.
-long duk dong Fred, leave her alone. You`ll make her tinkle.
-Grandma Helen Howard: What was his name? Well, what did he want?
Dorothy: ...Sex
-Grandpa Howard & Grandma Dorothy OOOOOH Sexy girlfriend!!! Bon zie
-long duk dong I can name 20 guys who would kill to love me.
-Caroline Caroline (to Farmer Ted): Now we're both on The Pill!!! Ling Duk Dong: Lake! Big lake! Dad: We're eating at the Ricechex tonite
Mom: Rischex
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