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How many times do I have to tell you there's no such thing as a wookalar?
-Inspector Winship Save your breath. It's about to be your last.
-Phylis Well, if you ever get killed again, be sure and call us.
-Dr. Tart Dr. Tart's always being funny.
-Inspector Winship Killer! Slot-machine freak!
-Inspector Winship We've gotta get to Phyllis before that thing gets to her!
-Inspector Winship I'm gonna kill you, one of these days!
-Inspector Winship This doll will self-destruct.
-Doll I think I saw a wookalar!
-Dr. Tart There's one left to die, then my job will be done. I like killing people, it's a lotta kicks.
-Doll Haven't you ever seen a dead man before?
-Inspector Winship This place must be loaded with secret passages to spy on people.
-Inspector Winship Hilda is dead and here's something to note, you can't bury her at sea cuz her bosoms will float.
-Dr. Tart She said, 'If you had another brain, you'd be lonely.'
-Dr. Tart You ever had pudding with cat hair in it?
-Dr. Tart That buzzard puss is backin' up on me.
-Inspector Winship I'm telling you, there are no ghosts!
-Inspector Winship They say that wookalars have the power to return from the dead too.
-Dr. Tart He claimed he had the power to return from the dead.
-Nanny The crypt was built to be unlocked from the inside.
-Mr. Tebit When you sealed Lord Morley's coffin, was he in it at the time?
-Inspector Winship Are you sure there was a body here?
-Phylis Tea isn't supposed to foam.
-Inspector Winship For a short person, you have long sentences.
-Inspector Winship How about a nice bowl of fish eyes?
-Mr. Uwatsum It's a shame that accidents always happen to the wrong people.
-Nanny Lord Morley gave me a promotion every week. He said I was the only maid he ever had who was full of bounce.
-Hilda Are you saying I killed Lord Morley?
-Dr. Tart If you killed Lord Morley, would you write and ask someone to find the killer?
-Inspector Winship It would have been impossible for Lord Morley to have written that letter after his death... unless he was a ghost.
-Phylis I suspect that they would like to see me dead.
-Phylis You better get a pigeon, in case we have to contact the Yard.
-Inspector Winship There was a stipulation in the will that if I die, the jackpot - uh, fortune - is to be divided equally by the living members of the staff.
-Phylis I'll have to put a get-well card on the bottom of his cage.
-Inspector Winship The Morley's death was an accident. You are mistaken, gentlemen.
-Justin This letter is signed Lord Morley... Lord Morley was dead at the time this letter was written.
-Nanny This is Detective Winship and this is Dr. Tart. They were in the yard.
-Justin Uh, that was a timegun. It goes off every hour.
-Dr. Tart Lady Morley never had children. Lord Morley never could do anything right!
-Phylis Say, did you see the look of the Chief's face when we got called in to solve the Morley case?
-Dr. Tart We're the law and the order.
-Dr. Tart Since I shot the chief in the foot with your stupid timegun, we're lucky he doesn't have us walking a beat.
-Inspector Winship If it hadn't been for your hairbrained ideas, we wouldn't have had to leave the States.
-Inspector Winship Well, they they go, Roy, the two idiots what's gonna leave their mark wherever they go.
-Attendant Lord Morley knew his cars and he was a good driver -- why he was a licensed driver!
-Attendant You know who you are? You're the two idiots what got your picture in the newspaper.
-Attendant This isn't one of your better inventions. Who ever heard of a gun that went off every hour?
-Inspector Winship You know, you're gonna be the death of me yet.
-Inspector Winship Did you have to bring so many pigeons?
-Inspector Winship I wish you could find a cleaner way to send a message.
-Inspector Winship You can grunt if you want to, but I believe in wookalars.
-Dr. Tart Let's go try to get some information out of these whackos.
-Inspector Winship Why don't you try to do one thing in your lifetime right? It could be quite a challenge!
-Lady Morley I say, Victoria, no fair dozing before dinner.
-Lord Morley I say you got stuff all over ya face
-attendant throw him a chicken
-Dr.Tart by the way you are standing in bull caa caa
-letter neers neers ya standing in horse neers
-hunchback walk this way
-butler that's why santa didn't make the rounds last christmas
-Dr.Tart sucked the brains clean out of a pig (SNORT)
-dr.tart
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