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Frankie: Shhh...I think I hear something.
Bobby: You mean she's making noise in her own apartment? They just go nuts in California, huh dad? The Announcer:You must represent darkness, evil, and godless communism.
Bobby: You forgot: ugly, lazy, and disrespectful. Bobby: I know exactly what's in there. It's been in there every single day of my life. It's peanut butter, isn't it, Mom? ISN'T IT? Bobby: Mom, was I adopted, and if not, can I be now? Sandy: [about her surfer engagement ring] It's a good thing you're not a plumber, or I'd be wearing a toilet bowl on my hand! Michael:Putting those ships into those bottles, that's got to take a lot of patience, intelligence, skill, and talent.
The Harbor Master:I bought this for a buck from a nine-year-old girl.
Michael:Wow, shrewd and thrifty, too. Michael: Sandy, you keep leaving the soap on the shower floor, and it keeps getting gross and squishy, and then it just disappears. And this was my favorite soap-on-a-rope, and look at this...it's just rope.
Sandy: Gosh, Michael, what a gut-wrenching tragedy. Get Jerry Lewis on the phone, we'll get a tel-a-thon going. Frankie: [after hearing his daughter's answering machine saying "We're not in"] But what does "we" mean?
Bobby: [impossibly sarcastic] I think it's the plural form, meaning "more than one." Would you like me to conjugate that for you, Pop? Do you know what "conjugate" means, Dad? Troy: You can tell the men from the boys by the price of their toys. Michael: We tried to figure where to take you last night, but you kept saying, "Why-oh, why-oh, why-oh did I ever leave Ohio?"
Frankie: That's a damn good question. Why did I leave?
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