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ExSqueeze me? A baking powder?
-Wayne We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
-Wayne and Garth WAYNE'S WORLD! WAYNE'S WORLD! PARTY TIME, EXCELLENT! WOOOOO!
-Wayne and Garth Ribbed for her pleasure....ewwwww
-Garth If it's a severed head, I will be very upset...
-Wayne Hey there Mr. Donut-head-man... look who'se comin' ta kill ya! I dunno, but ya better not...
-Garth Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries...
-Wayne I'd like the cream of sum-young-guy.
-Wayne A gun rack? What am I going to do with a gun rack? I don't even own a gun, let alone enough guns to necessitate a whole gun rack?
-Wayne I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. If you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be.
-Wayne Schwing!!!!!
-Wayne and Garth Garth "Party on Wayne"..........Wayne "Party on Garth"
-Wayne & Garth Hi. Doesn't it seem weird? I mean, why does this guy have contracts? You ever see the Twilight Zone episode where the guy signed a contract, and they cut out his tounge, and it wouldn't die? It just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tounges?
-Garth Excuse me...I'd like to get by now.
-Garth (Holds up a box of condoms) "ribbed for her pleasure...ewwww!"
-Garth I don't really have too much to say right now. What's that?
-Garth Garth: I think we should go now. (Handed inspection card) Cool!
Wayne: (Grabbing card) Cool!
-Garth and Wayne LIVE IN THE NOW!!!!
-Garth And I would've gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for you snoopin' kids!
-Old Man Withers Yeah, and if a frog had wings it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped.
-Cassandra You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.
-Stacy (Wayne's ex-girlfriend) [wearing Reebok wardrobe] It's like people only do these things because they can get paid. And that's just really sad.
-Garth She will be mine. Oh, yes - she will be mine.
-Wayne Yeah I know what you'd like to do. You'd like to find the guy who did it, rip his still beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies.
-Glen Oh, actually all champagne is French, it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white "champagne", even though by d
-Benjamin Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick.
-Garth [holding a Pizza Hut box] Well that's where I see things just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor.
-Wayne If she were president she would be Babe-raham Lincoln!
-garth a gun rack.......you bought me a gun rack.
-wanne to stacey I always knew you were small time.
-Benjamin Kane did you ever find bugs bunny attractive when he dressed up like a girl bunny?
-garth No Stairway?
Denied!
-wayne campbell Car!
[Car drives by.]
Game on!
-Wayne My name is Wayne Campbell. I live in Aurora Illinois, which is a suburb of Chicago..Excellent. Ok, I still live with my parents. Which I admit, is both bogus and sad, but I still know how to party... I've a lot of joe jobs, nothing I'd call a career.
-Wayne Wayne - "A shivinter says what?"
Noah - "What?"
Wayne - "A shivinter says what?"
Noah - "What?"
Wayne - "Exactly!"
-Wayne And they got a pool table too.
-Garth Shyeah, right. And monkeys might fly out of our butts.
-Wayne T-1000: "Have you seen this boy?". Wayne: "AAAHHH!"
-T-1000/Wayne I have an extensive collection of nametags and hairnets.
-Wayne yes and it's the choice of a new generation
(holding up soda can)
-Wayne W: How about a little "Bohemian Rhapsody" gentlemen?
G: Good call!
-Wayne and Garth Wayne: "First he screws me, then he screws you. It's Dutch Door action".
Cassandra: "I think you'd better get out of here". "If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset"
-Wayne "Ok, first I'll access the secret military spy satellite that's in a geo-synchronous orbit that's over the midwest. Then, I'll id the limo by the vanity plate Mr. Bigg and get his approximate position. Then, I'll reposition the transmitter dish in the remote truck to 17.32 degrees east, hit west up over the Atlantic bounce the signal down into the Abors up the Conzact 6 beam it back through to Zack through transmitter number 137 and down to the dish in the back of Mr.Bigg's limo. It's almost too easy"
-Garth If your gonna spew, spew into this.
-Garth "does this guy know how to party or what!!"- wayne about alice cooper (Referring to Garth's on-air breakdown) Did you see that scene in Scanners when that dude's head blew up?
-TV Controller Russell: In five, four, three (motions the numbers two and one).
Garth: You didn't say two or one?
Russell: You don't say two or one.
Garth: Why?
Russell: You just don't! Wayne: *gasp* Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Wayne: "Hey, Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind. Hey, Mickey". (Cassandra joins in) W&C: "Hey, Mickey. Hey, Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, Hey, Mickey!" (Awkward Pause) SHWING!!!!
-Wayne, Garth Wayne: (To a man in a limo next to the Mirth Mobile) "Pardon me. Do you have any Grey Poupon?" Garth: "Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick". Wayne: "Hi. I'm in Delaware." Wayne: "Ok, Garth, just sit there and he's gonna put that thing on your melon."
Garth: "Just a trim. Don't buzz me, all right?" Garth: Ah-ha! What's this? "How to pick up chicks." "How to meet women." He's smooth. Garth: "Okay, pop quiz. Cassandra is not interested in Benjamin because..." Garth: (About Benjamin) "A. Chicks think he's handsome". Garth: (About Benjamin) "B. Has cool car." Garth: (About Benjamin) "C. Has lots of cash." Garth: (About Benjamin) "D. Has no visible scars". Garth: (About Benjamin) "E. Does not live with PARENTS!" Wayne: (To Garth) "Okay, how about F? You're a gimp?" Wayne: (To Garth) "You know what you can do with your pop quiz?" Garth: (To Wayne) "Well, you know what you can do with your show? You can take a flying..." (Words are obscured by a loud plane) Garth: (Finishing his rant) "...'Til the handle breaks off and you have to get a doctor to pull it out again". Wayne: (To Garth) "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"
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