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Dude, you couldn't get a chick if you had a 100 dollar bill hanging out of your zipper.
-Coop God dammit man, I swear if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times, I'm outta here.
-Squeak First we get jobs, then we get the khakis, then we get chicks.
-Coop Coop: Hey, Skidmark Steve, cool. You still hangin' out, playin' Nintendo?
Skidmark Steve: Well, if you must know, I'm in my second year of med school and I'm training for the Summer Games. What are you two up to?
Coop: Just hanging out. Playing Nintendo
-Coop & Steve Cooper: Dammit man, I'm trying to save an innocent life!
Remer: I'm given ya all I got captain.
Coop: I love ya, always have.
[Both start laughing.]
-Coop & Remer Remer: I'll come, I love hospitals!
Coop: No you don't, you like Taco Bell.
Remer: No this one time I went to a hospital and got together with this really hot chick.
Coop: Dude, that was a hostile.
Remer: Oh, yeah.
-Remer & Coop Jenna: Come on, Joey search your heart. What's the one thing you want most in the world?
Joey: Chelsea Clinton?
Coop: That's a pretty tall order, dude.
Remer: You'd have a better shot at Bill.
-Jenna, Joey, Coop & Remer Okay Jenna open your blouse and say ahh!
-Rhemer Okay Jenna open your blouse and say ahh!
-Rhemer kids these days have an attention span that can only be measured in nanoseconds! (camera cuts to coop who is staring at a bird in a tree for the rest of the scene)
-rich guy... "bitch" to Squeak countless times
-Coop & Remer Squeak its a guy!
-Coop & Remer Just to think a couple of years ago those girls wer in grade school.
-Announcer Your mom is going out with sqeak!
-Coop Coop: (singing) You shoula been gone!
Remer: Dude I said no more Journey Psych outs!
-Coop and Remer (Talking to a dildo) I am soooo Jealous of you!
-Remer This just in, We still have no fu#*ing clue where this guy is.
-Robert Stack Voiceover guy: roadkill caught on tape
Coop while watching animals getting mode over: aw aw I can't believe those assholes taped over the game! aw aw aw!
-Voiceover guy/Coop
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