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Darcy Elliot: "I'm pregnant. Could you pass the turnips?" Mr. Babrucz: Young lady you need to learn how to keep your mouth shut and your legs crossed!
Stan: You don't take care of bills by stuffing them in a shoebox!... We'll do less entertaining! And there is no reason on God's green earth that we have to have chocolate milk in the fridge at all times! Or French goddamn roast goddamn coffee, with goddamn cinnamon!
Michaela: I love it when the smart kids try to be so stupid. Michaela: How can you be so smart and so dumb? Mr. Bobrucz: You, Fife, can take your French fruit and stuff it up your big bird!
Darcy: Oh my God! My God, it's huge, it's a monster! It's a giant boa-constrictor, get that thing away from me, get it away, put it aways before it kills somebody!
Darcy: How could you name our baby Theodosia?
Stan: We needed a name for a the birth certificate, I asked you what you wanted!
Darcy: It sounds like a greek fishing boat, or a crater on the moon or something!
Stan: Oh no, my wife is not gonna get a job!
Darcy: Oh great Stan, you sound just like Fred Flintstone.
Darcy: I tried on my dress, for the prom, I look like a Thanksgiving Day float. Also I'm itching everywhere, my ankles are fat, there's something hanging out of my butt, the article's not going good and now I need a haircut.
Stan: There's something hanging out of your what?
Darcy: Well, when you're pregnant, sometimes you get hemorroids, okay?
Stan: Bummer.
Stan: You're light as air.
Darcy: Yeah, so is a blimp.
Stan: But a blimp can't dance.
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