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"Good morning, Vietnam." What the heck is that supposed to mean?
-Lieutenant Steven Hauk Five months in Vietnam and my best friend is a V.C.! This will not look good on a résumé!
-Adrian Cronauer Goooooooood morning Vietnam! It's 0600 hours. What does the "O" stand for? O my God, it's early! Speaking of early, let's hear it for that Marty Lee Drywitz. Silky smooth sounds, making me sound like Peggy Lee...
-Adrian Cronauer Here's a little advice: Never eat in a Vietnamese restaurant next to a pound.
-Adrian Cronauer: Thank you for the lovely tune, that funky music will drive us till the dawn. Let's go, let's bugaloo till we puke!
-Adrian Cronauer Respectfully, sir, the former VP is a good man and a decent man.
-Lt. Steven Hauk Sir, the man has got an irreverent tendency. He did a very off-color parody of former VP Nixon.
-Lt. Steven Hauk Oh, I don't know. There are plenty of things I can think of. Maybe go downtown and try to find a Vietnamese man named "Phil."
-Adrian Cronauer In the dictionary under "asshole" it says "See him."
-Adrian Cronauer What will you do, sir? What will you do? What will you do with your time?
-Edward Garlick What's the demilitarized zone? It sounds like something from the Wizard of Oz "Oh no don't go in there!" "Ohhh wee ohh. Ho Chi Minn." "Oh look you've landed in Saigon. You're amongst the little people now." "We represent the ARVN army, the ARVN
-Adrian Cronauer Mayday! Mayday! Dragon-Lady with incredible figure at 11 o'clock! Stop the car.
-Adrian Cronauer Aw, Edward, you don't understand. I've been on a small Greek island with a lot of women who look like Zorba, I never thought I'd find women attractive ever again. And now that I do, you won't even turn the car around? Thanks a lot.
-Adrian Cronauer She's beautiful and quick. Speed up, check her stamina. Oh my God, they're quick, they're fast, and small. Ha, ha, ha, ha! I feel like a fox in a chicken coop!
-Adrian Cronauer Here's a news flash: Today President Lyndon Johnson passed a highway beautification bill. The bill basically said that his daughters could not drive in a convertible on public highways.
-Adrian Cronauer I don't know, Lieutenant, I guess it means good morning, Vietnam.
-Private Abersold You know, you're very beautiful. You're also very quiet. And I'm not used to girls being that quiet unless they're medicated. Normally I go out with girls who talk so much you could hook them up to a wind turbine and they could power a small New Hamps
-Adrian Cronauer What is the difference between the Cub Scouts and the military? Bzzzzzt! Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery!
-Adrian Cronauer Sir, in my heart, I know I'm funny.
-Lt. Steven Hauk First of all, don't make fun of the weather here, and don't say the weather is the same all the time here. Because it's not. In fact, it's two degrees colder today than yesterday.
-Lt. Steven Hauk Mantovani? They feed Mantovani to insomniacs who don't respond to strong drugs!
-Adrian Cronauer Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test! This is rock and roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the D.M.Z.!
-Adrian Cronauer Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
-Adrian Cronauer We got one letter from a man who thought that Hauk's comedy was "visionary and interesting." The other eleven hundred calls say that the man can't do comedy to save his dick!... That's a direct quote, sir.
-Edward Garlick He is in the most dire need of a blowjob than any other white man in history
-Adrian Cronauer What does three up and three down mean to you, Airman
-Sgt. Maj. Dickerson (In response to Sgt. Maj. Dickerson's "what does three up and three down mean to you.") "The end of an inning"
-Adrian Cronauer
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