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Revenge is better than Christmas!
-Elvira Well, it is a pot luck. And believe me, when they open that pot they're gonna need all the luck they can get.
-Elvira And tell them... tell them that I never turned down a friend. I never turned down a stranger for that matter...
-Elvira And if they ever ask about me, tell them I was more than just a great set of boobs. I was also an incredible pair of legs.
-Elvira And if I get so depressed that I wind up hanging myself in the oven, well, those are the breaks!
-Elvira Oh well, there's nothing wrong with G-rated movies, as long as there's lots of sex and violence.
-Elvira I don't know who you are or where you came from but you most certainly don't fit in this town. Why, you don't even fit in that dress.
-Chastity Pariah I'll get you... and your little dog, too!
-Vincent Talbot Leslie was the one covering people in apple butter. I was just an innocent on-licker.
-Mrs. Meeker I need this job like a leper needs a three-way mirror!
-Elvira
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