My job is so fucking unbelievable

  • avatar
    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 3096
    • Banned
    I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big ass dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

    Anyway, I drive these fucking idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
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  • avatar
    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 5566
    I c wut u did thar.
    Oh yeah?
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  • avatar
    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 12793
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    LOL is the dogs name Scooby?
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    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 11018
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    dude you're too young to work... or are you? :?
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  • avatar
    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 9096
    Holy shit, this cracked me up. I got halfway through before I caught the joke, and I was just like "WTF, you have a job?"

    I'm gonna give you a high five on MSN right now. Expect it next time you get on.
    TMNT wrote:
    Movin` on up!! To the East side Blah blah Blah Movin on up Gaints lol.
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  • avatar
    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 14080
    A thirteen year old came up with this? Damn PN, you're definitely not a simple thirteen year old.
    I must enter a signature.
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  • avatar
    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 9096
    Obviously it was copypasta'd. Still hilarious for the first time, though.
    TMNT wrote:
    Movin` on up!! To the East side Blah blah Blah Movin on up Gaints lol.
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    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 873
    • Account Disabled
    Way to put him on blast, vkimo.
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    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 6779
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    I didn't get the joke for a while.

    It was like the last line before I went "ohhhh... like scooby doo!"

    That's pretty good, even if you didnt make it up, pn.
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  • avatar
    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 14080
    It could be a parody of people who bitch about their jobs.
    I must enter a signature.
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  • avatar
    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 5734
    Didn't get it at first, but I did later on. That was hilarious, PN. :lol:
    http://thebest404pageever.com/swf/obamadance.swf

    [quote=ActionBastard]I collect Retro Junk action figures. I've got a limited edition DebrisStorm with karate chop action still in the box. I've also got a special edition vkimo that comes with a typewrit
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    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 566
    • Banned
    Let me guess are you supposed to be Fred?
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  • avatar
    • 3 years 8 months ago
    • Posts: 1559
    • Banned
    :lol: i guess he is motherneurosis
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  • avatar
    • 3 years 9 days ago
    • Posts: 1363
    vkimo wrote:
    Never mind. Look:

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/archive/index.php/t-118178331.html

    http://mixxingbowl.com/forums/index.php?topic=965.345


    Dang, I was hoping this was legit. The internet has too many copiers and not enough innovators. :(

    Always playing as Yoshi since 1995!
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    • 2 years 11 months ago
    • Posts: 3811
    Pretty funny.
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  • avatar
    • 2 years 11 months ago
    • Posts: 3096
    • Banned
    How many inactive members can you fit in one thread?

    I almost get nostalgic reading this. :cry:
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    • 2 years 11 months ago
    • Posts: 3323
    • Account Disabled
    Tis what RetroJunk is all about, my friend. Remembering all the happy times of the past being ruthlessly ripped away by the harsh reality of the present...
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  • avatar
    • 2 years 7 months ago
    • Posts: 1250
    PirateNinja6 wrote:
    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big ass dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

    Anyway, I drive these fucking idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.


    So you're Freddy:lol:

    I always had suspicions about Velma being a lesbian.... :roll:
    TMNT wrote:
    Hey Lol785, Your so stupid your name does not like you at all.


    "Life's rough, get a helmet."
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