Fozzie:
"Hey there. Want a lift?"
Big Bird:
"No thanks. I'm on my way to New York City to try and break into public television!"
Kermit the Frog:
"The El Sleezo Cafe! Hmm Foreign food. It dosen't smell promising. But the frog has gotta eat. (Gasps as he sees a person kicking out of the cafe). (To the owner) Wow! Ruff place, Huh?"
El Sleezo Cafe Owner:
"That's the toughest, meanest, filthiest pest over the basic of the earth!"
Kermit the Frog:
"Why not complain to the owner?"
El Sleezo Cafe Owner:
"I am the owner!"
Doctor Krassman:
"I must reach the switch. I must...."
Miss Piggy:
"Hai-Yah! (Crashes to Doctor Krassman's machine) (To Kermit) Come out, Kermie."
Kermit the Frog:
"Oh, Thank You."
Miss Piggy:
"(Kicks Doctor Krassman)"
Doctor Krassman:
"(Sets the switch on as he leans back) Ribbit Ribbit Ribbit Ribbit (Faints out)"
Doctor Krassman:
"Alright, Ready to get to work. Handcliff (sets the handcliff on), Footcliff (sets the footcliff), You can struggle all you want, Froggy, It will do you very GOOD! Alright it is now time to drop your electronic beanie. Soon it will hit hot time tonight for Cincinnati."
Miss Piggy:
"Oh, PLEASE! PLEASE! Not my frog, PLEASE!"
Doctor Krassman:
"Say good-bye to the frog, Pig."
Miss Piggy:
"Why should I?"
Doctor Krassman:
"Because in 10 seconds, He won't know you from Kosher Bacon."
Miss Piggy:
"THAT DOES IT!"
Doc Hopper:
"(To his troops) All right, Boys. Let's kill him!"
Max:
"(To the troops) No wait, Please."
Giant Animal:
"(Popping on top of the roof of Doctor Bunsen Honeydew's Laboratory) (Roars Doc Hopper, Max, and his troops)"
Kermit the Frog:
"We all going to Hollywood!"
Gonzo:
"(To Camilla) Alright, I'll get you a balloon. But you have to pick the color: Red or Green?"
Balloon Vendor:
"Can I give a word of advice?"
Gonzo:
"Sure."
Balloon Vendor:
"Why not take both of them."
Gonzo:
"(Gasp) What a wild idea."
Balloon Vendor:
"Yeah, Beautiful Chickens love it when they have two balloons. Sometimes a person holds up a bunch of balloons for the girls. They go Gah-Gah for it."
Gonzo:
"Gah-Gah? I'll a whole bunch."
Fozzie Bear:
"Hello, I like some Ice Cream."
Ice Cream Vendor:
"Now, What do you want? Chocolate, Vanilla, Peach, Strawberry, Pistachio, Banana?"
Fozzie Bear:
"Uh, Honey."
Ice Cream Vendor:
"Honey? I bet I hardly known you."
Fozzie Bear:
"Oh, But seriously, I like a honey ice cream cone for me, And a dragonfly ripple to my friend the frog."
Ice Cream Vendor:
"Okay, One honey cone for the bear, and one dragonfly ripple to the frog."
Fozzie Bear:
"Why thank you."
Ice Cream Vendor:
"Don't get them mixed up."
Fozzie Bear:
"Gotcha."
Kermit the Frog:
"Piggy is that you?"
Doc Hopper:
"(on the other line) Yeah that's her. And this is Doc Hopper. Now listen to me, Frog. Step outside this motel right now! My guys would meet you there."
Kermit the Frog:
"But, what if I don't?"
Doc Hopper:
"Then your pig friend will be a ham-hock for breakfast!"
Miss Piggy:
"(Screeming) No! Kermie! Don't don't!"
Doc Hopper:
"(Hangs up the telephone and chuckles with Miss Piggy)"
Bogen County Amusement Park Beauty Pageant Host:
"Okay, Before we announce the winner, We like to thank the judges of Today's contest. Here is Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthey."
Charlie McCarthey:
"You're not going to believe who the winner is, folks."
Edgar Bergen:
"Oh, Come on, Charlie. It's thier movie."
Charlie McCarthey:
"So it is."
Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthey:
"(Chuckles)"
Animal:
"GO HOME!!! GO HOME!!! Bye-Bye (Faints as we see the ending credit caption that reads "This film is dedicated to the Memories and Magic of Edgar Bergen (1903-1978)".)"
Doc Hopper:
"(Dressed in a frog costume in his Doc Hopper's Frog Legs commercial) Hello, I am Doc Hopper, Inviting you to hop on down and get some Hopper's French Fried Frog Legs right here at the sign of the big green legs (To the Girls) Come on, Come on, Hurry, Hurry! (Starts singing the jingle) Frog legs! Frog legs! Frog legs are fine! Hopper's is the place you should dine! There's cheese legs, chili legs, bacon legs too! French fried frog legs, barbequed! If you want a little snack, then here is the one:"
Kermit the Frog:
"(Gets frighten when Lady of Spain is played on the barrel) What is that?"
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew:
"That is one of my latest inventions "A Musical Rotating Rain Barrel.""
Kermit the Frog:
"Oh Yeah."
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew:
"You see, I'm Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and this is my assistant, Beaker. We live here protecting useful inventions. Come in, Come in"
Scooter:
"(Holding the clapboard the wrong way) Okay "The Muppet Movie" Scenery 1A, Take One! (Clapboard top slammed on his hand) OUCH!"
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew:
"Sound is Ready"
Kermit the Frog:
"(On Megaphone) Okay, Stand by, Here we go!"
World Wide Studios CEO:
"(Calling on speakerphone) Miss Tracy, (Pauses) Stand by for The Rich and Famous Contract with Kermit the Frog, and Company."
Max:
"(dressed as a police officer) This whole disguise is only so that I can warn you."
Fozzie Bear:
"Okay, Yeah, Sure, Sure,..."
Max:
"I never thought Doc was gonna hurt Kermit. I thought He was going to lean on him. But now he has hired this frog killer in from the coast, And the man is DEADLY!"
Sgt. Floyd Pepper:
"Hey, When you dudes have to be at that audition?"
Kermit the Frog:
"2:00 Tomorrow Afternoon."
Dr. Teeth:
"Well, Then Climb Aboard the bus. We'll have breakfast at Hollywood and Vine."
Kermit:
"Well, then I guess I was wrong when I said I never promised anyone. I promised me. Hmm."
Kermit:
"No, they believed in a dream. Well, so do I, but...You do? Yeah, of course I do. Well then?"
Kermit:
"Still, whether you promised them something or not, you've got to remember they wanted to come, but that's because they believed in me."
Kermit:
"Yeah, I guess not. Anyhow, I bought them all out here into the middle of nowhere. It's all my fault."