Win Ben Stein's Money Quotes
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    31554
      Announcer:
      Let's begin.
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        Ben Stein:
        Hello, I'm Ben Stein. My brain is a miraculous instrument. It contains all the information I need to protect my money, $5,000. I'll put it up, but I won't give it up without a fight. But if you're smart enough, quick enough, and lucky enough, you can Win Ben Stein's Money!
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          Ben Stein:
          Hello, I'm Ben Stein. And today, I'm going to make history. I'm putting up $5,000 that says I know more than you. So if you're smart enough, fast enough, and if you've got the guts, you can Win Ben Stein's Money
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            Announcer:
            Now we'll see if (champion) can win $5,000 of Ben Stein's money!
            31418
              Ben:
              We're out of time, until next time, I challenge everyone to write, call, and/or e mail to futility.com, in the hope as infinitesimal as it might be, that on some distant day on some distant planet, you might Win (echo) Ben (echo) Stein's (echo) Money! (Echo)
              31417
                Ben:
                Well done, you just got $5,000 of Ben Stein's Money! I bow to your superior knowledge, I'm impressed, I'm humbled, I hate you, get out of here! Take the money and leave, you've done enough damage here!
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                  Ben:
                  I will do my best
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                    Announcer:
                    Now we'll see how smart Ben really is as we play more of Ben Stein's Money!
                    31414
                      Ben :
                      Why have I done this? Call me crazy!
                      Audience:
                      YOU'RE CRAZY!!
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                        Ben:
                        I'm giving these totally strange strangers a chance to win my $5,000 if they're smart enough, quick enough, and lucky enough!
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                          Announcer:
                          And now, (please welcome), (insert funny comment), BEN STEIN!