Fletch Quotes
      Cop #1: You got a gun creep?
      Fletch: Shamu's got one. Borrow his.
        Waiter: "Would you like some drinks, Señor, while you wait? I will put it on the Underhills' bill."
        Fletch: "Yes, very good. I'll have a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich and... a steak sandwich, please."
          Fletch: "If you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards."
            Fletch [to a Doberman pinscher]: "Look, defenseless babies!"
              Fletch: "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I didn't want to have to do this. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses."
                Chief Karlin: [to the arresting officers] "Officers, could you excuse us for a few moments?"
                Fletch: "Yeah, why don't you guys go down to the gym and pump each other."
                Chief Karlin: "Why are you doing this, Mr. Fletch?"
                Fletch: "I like men. I like to be manhandled. I like you."
                  Fletch: "Don't talk to me like that, assface. I don't work for you yet."
                    Fletch: "Can't keep me here, chief."
                    Chief Karlin: "Maybe I'm not going to keep you in here. Maybe I'm going to blow your brains out."
                    Fletch: "Well, now, I'm no lawyer, but I do believe that's a violation of my rights."
                      Fletch: "Why don't we go lay on the bed and I'll fill you in?"
                        Fletch (singing): "Strangers in the night, exchanging clothing, strangers in my pants..."