A Christmas Story Quotes
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      Mall Santa:
      Okay, get him out of here!
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        Numerous Charcaters:
        You'll shoot your eye out!
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          Narrator:
          Over the years I came to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference is for Lux but I found Palmolive had a nice pique of after-dinner flavor. Heady but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Lifebuoy on the other hand...
          Ralphie:
          Yuck!
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            Ralphie:
            (slowly)Oh fudge.
            Narrator:
            Except I didn't say "fudge". I said THE word! The big one! The mother of dirty words! The F-dash-dash-dash word!
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              Chinese Waiters:
              Deck the hars with boughs of horry, fa-ra-ra-ra-ra, ra-ra-ra-ra. Tis the season to be jorry, fa-ra-ra--
              Head Chef:
              Stop, stop stop! Sing something else!
              Chinese waiters:
              Jingre berrs, jingre berrs, jingre arr the way...
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                Mr. Parker:
                Fra-gil-e! Oh, it must be Italian!
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                  Mr. Parker: Dadgummit! Blowout!
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                    tis the season to be horry ra ra ra ra ra rara ra!

                    - waiters in restraunt
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                      Mr. Parker: "Serves you right, you smell buggers!"
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                        "I like the Wizard of Oz... I like the Tin Man."

                        - Autistic boy with goggles in the line for Santa
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                          Mr. Parker: He's a pink nightmare!
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                            Old Man (Mr. Parker):
                            Shut up, Ralphie!
                            -Old Man (Mr. Parker)
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                              Numerous characters:
                              You'll shoot your eye out!
                              -Numerous characters
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                                The Mall Santa:
                                Ho ho ho!
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                                  Adult Ralphie:
                                  In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.
                                  -Adult Ralphie
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                                    Old Man:
                                    You used up all the glue on purpose.
                                    -Old Man
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                                      Adult ralphie, Mother, Ralphie:
                                      Mother: Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas?

                                      Adult Ralphie: Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out.

                                      Ralphie: I want an offical Red Rider carbine action two hundred shot range model air rifle.

                                      -Adult ralphie, Mother, Ralphie
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                                        Ralphie:
                                        I want a red rider 200 shot carbine action range model air rifle with a compass and this thing which tells time built right in the stock.
                                        -Ralphie
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                                          Miss Shields:
                                          Now I know that some of you put Flick up to this, but he has refused to say who. But those who did it know their blame, and I'm sure that the guilt you must feel would be far worse than any punishment you might receive. Now, don't you feel terrible? Don
                                          -Miss Shields
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                                            Ralphie as a kid:
                                            Leave me alone....I'm uh......thinking.
                                            -Ralphie as a kid