25232
Kneemoi: 92 planets, 92 jail cells. My frequent prisoner miles are really adding up! I'll give Carmen a free trip to Roddenberry! Go find her in Africa.
25231
Sarah Nade:
Prison life is a real drag. The guards keep playing Michael Bolton tapes. Get Carmen in here. She'll make them stop. She's hiding out in Asia.
25230
Kneemoi: Oh, another planet, another prison cell. Maybe I could spend my sentence getting to know Carmen better. Look for her in Europe.
25229
Wonder Rat: "If there's one thing a rat can do, it's rat! If you wanna find Carmen Sandiego, sniff around Asia."
25228
Eartha Brute: Ugh! This prison gym is terrible. I can only bench press 1,000 pounds. Make Carmen bring me more weights. You'll find her in Africa.
25227
The Contessa: Prison Life is so uncivilized! 600 cells and not a room service menu in sight! Tell Carmen this is more than I can bear! She went to North America.
25226
Vic the Slick: Darn that Carmen! I've gone from salesman of the century to starching socks in the prison laundry! I'm climbing down the ladder of success! Look for Carmen in Africa.
25225
Robocrook: It really burns my fuses that Carmen is still free. To find her, scan Asia.
25224
Top Grunge: I'm gettin' lonely here in jail. (snorts) Me without Carmen is like a dog without a flea. (coughs) You'll find her in Africa. (sneezes)
25223
Eartha Brute: This is Eartha Brute calling. All I do here in jail is split rocks. I've never been so happy in all my life. Bring Carmen over to share in the fun. You'll find her in Asia.
25222
The Contessa: This prison food is so dreadfully boring! I can't even get a jar of Grey Poupon! Maybe Carmen could help, but she's in Europe. Go find her!
25221
The Chief (from monitor, on phone): Greg, please come into my office!
Greg: OK, Chief. I'll- I'll be right there. (phone starts ringing) The Chief's on the phone- I mean, I'll be right- I'll be back.
Greg (now in Chief's office, phone is still ringing): Yeah, Chief. Chief! Well, the Chief isn't here, but I better answer this phone. (clears throat and picks it up) ACME Crimenet!
The Chief: (on phone) This is your Chief.
Greg: Oh, hi, Chief! Where are ya now?
The Chief: I am unavailable, due to classified business. I have left these taped voice-mail instructions. Please dial 1 to continue.
Greg: Voice-mail! I love voice-mail. All right. (he dials 1, then looks at the Chief's papers)
The Chief: Please do not touch my papers- listen up!
Greg: (puts down the papers) Yeah.
The Chief: 1st question: How close are you to catching Carmen Sandiego? Dial 1 for: We got her, 2 for: We're extremely close, or 3 for: As usual, she's evaded us 3 times, and we look like dopes.
Greg: Oh, I guess that would be 3. (he dials 3)
The Chief: Well, I'm not surprised. 2nd question: How should we encourage the Gumshoes to work harder? Dial 1 for: Threaten to fire them, 2 for: Poke them with sticks, or 3 for: Offer the one who catches her a free trip anywhere in North America. (applause)
Greg: Hmm... ah! That's a tough choice. I'm gonna go with 3. (he dials 3 again)
The Chief: Thank you. Inform the Gumshoes. 3rd question: How should I terminate our discussion? Dial 1 for: Tell you you're a great guy, 2 for: Offer you a raise and a big office, or 3 for: Set you up with my gorgeous cousin, Gladys.
Greg: Ooh! Uh, I'm gonna go, uh, 3-a-mundo! (he dials 3 again)
The Chief: I thought you'd choose that one. Greg, go away!
(disappointed, Greg hangs up)
Greg: You know, I don't need her. I'll dial Information. I'll get Gladys' number myself. That's no problem. (he dials Information and picks up the receiver)
Voice: (on phone, like the Chief's, only more nasally and higher) Hello, Information.
Greg: Uh, yeah- I'm calling for Gladys.
Voice: Gladys who?
Greg: The Chief's gorgeous cousin.
Voice: Who's calling?
Greg: This is Greg.
Voice: Greg?
Greg: Yeah?
Voice: Go away. (the phone clicks, and Greg hangs up)
Greg: OK, Chief. I'll- I'll be right there. (phone starts ringing) The Chief's on the phone- I mean, I'll be right- I'll be back.
Greg (now in Chief's office, phone is still ringing): Yeah, Chief. Chief! Well, the Chief isn't here, but I better answer this phone. (clears throat and picks it up) ACME Crimenet!
The Chief: (on phone) This is your Chief.
Greg: Oh, hi, Chief! Where are ya now?
The Chief: I am unavailable, due to classified business. I have left these taped voice-mail instructions. Please dial 1 to continue.
Greg: Voice-mail! I love voice-mail. All right. (he dials 1, then looks at the Chief's papers)
The Chief: Please do not touch my papers- listen up!
Greg: (puts down the papers) Yeah.
The Chief: 1st question: How close are you to catching Carmen Sandiego? Dial 1 for: We got her, 2 for: We're extremely close, or 3 for: As usual, she's evaded us 3 times, and we look like dopes.
Greg: Oh, I guess that would be 3. (he dials 3)
The Chief: Well, I'm not surprised. 2nd question: How should we encourage the Gumshoes to work harder? Dial 1 for: Threaten to fire them, 2 for: Poke them with sticks, or 3 for: Offer the one who catches her a free trip anywhere in North America. (applause)
Greg: Hmm... ah! That's a tough choice. I'm gonna go with 3. (he dials 3 again)
The Chief: Thank you. Inform the Gumshoes. 3rd question: How should I terminate our discussion? Dial 1 for: Tell you you're a great guy, 2 for: Offer you a raise and a big office, or 3 for: Set you up with my gorgeous cousin, Gladys.
Greg: Ooh! Uh, I'm gonna go, uh, 3-a-mundo! (he dials 3 again)
The Chief: I thought you'd choose that one. Greg, go away!
(disappointed, Greg hangs up)
Greg: You know, I don't need her. I'll dial Information. I'll get Gladys' number myself. That's no problem. (he dials Information and picks up the receiver)
Voice: (on phone, like the Chief's, only more nasally and higher) Hello, Information.
Greg: Uh, yeah- I'm calling for Gladys.
Voice: Gladys who?
Greg: The Chief's gorgeous cousin.
Voice: Who's calling?
Greg: This is Greg.
Voice: Greg?
Greg: Yeah?
Voice: Go away. (the phone clicks, and Greg hangs up)
25220
Robocrook: Robocrook Unit-059 calling. According to my default program, put in prison for more than 11 seconds, I automatically rat on my owner. Look for Carmen in Africa.
25219
Patty Larceny: I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Look for her in Asia.
25218
Double Trouble:
That Carmen's a party-pooper! We've been in jail for 17 seconds already, and she hasn't even visited yet! Look for her in South America.
25217
Eartha Brute: Gee, I'm mad at Carmen! She's out there, running around, having fun, while I'm stuck in jail! You'll find her in Africa.
25216
Vic the Slick:
Carmen's committin' crimes while I'm penned up in prison playing poker for peanuts! You can find Carmen in North America.
25215
Wonder Rat: Nobody here in jail appreciates my classic good looks. Get Carmen in here. She loves me! You'll find her in Africa.
25214
Vic the Slick: I'm gonna need some company in the slammer, so here's the scoop on Carmen. Look for her in Europe.
25213
Double Trouble:
We were partners in crime. We should be cellmates in jail, but the warden wants to split up this dream team. Carmen's layin' low in North America. Tell 'er she's gotta help!
