Major Payne Quotes
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      Major Payne:
      Boy, I am two seconds from being on you like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. I'm gonna put my foot so far up your ass, the water on my knee will quench your thirst.

      - Major Payne
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        Major Payne:
        You're still a shit sandwich. You're just not a soggy one. From this moment, you are no longer turds. You have graduated to maggots!

        -Major Payne
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          Major Payne:
          From now on, my little group of shaved scrotum sacks, you will walk like me, talk like me, eat like me, and until you win those games, you will be BALD like me.

          -Major Payne
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            Emily:
            And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, edictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic ASSHOLE!

            -Emily
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              Major Payne:
              And I call it neutering.

              -Major Payne
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                Emily:
                I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing.

                -Emily
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                  Major Payne:
                  Aw, phooey! Don't you ever read any of those stories about little people who do big things? Little Red Riding Hood! The Three Little Pigs! Spike Lee! The Little Rascals! How about the Little Engine That Could!

                  -Major Payne