Major Payne Quotes
      Major Payne: "What if this was a life-or-death situation?"
      Alex: "But it's NOT a life-or-death situation."
      Major Payne: (takes a hand grenade and pulls the pin out) "It is now!"
        Alex: "What, are you guys crazy?? It's just a dummy grenade!"
        (Major Payne throws the grenade, which explodes behind him; Alex then leaps into the mud.)
        Major Payne: "Who's the dummy now?"
          1 TUBBY TUBBY 2 TUBBY TUBBY-major payne
            Major Payne: What do you want, Mr. PEE-body?
              Major Payne: You like the way I handle these white boys?
              Cadet Williams: Yeah, no doubt brother.
              Major Payne: Well let me tell you something.
              Cadet Williams: Yeah brother.
              Major Payne: I AM NOT YOUR DAMN BROTHER!!!!!!
                Major Payne: Let me see that belly roll. One, tubby tubby. Come on pork chop. Two, tubby tubby.
                  Major Payne: You tell Marlee Matlin's son if he does not get across that rope, I'm going to hang him with it.
                    Major Payne:
                    I like to hang upside-down blindfolded, then I take my gun apart and put it back together real fast before my nose begins to bleed.
                    -Major Payne
                      Major Payne:
                      War has made me very paranoid and when a man gets to eyeballin' me it makes MY AGENT ORANGE JACK UP, and I get the urge to kill.
                      -Major Payne
                        Major Payne:
                        What's so funny tubby? You found a gummy bear in your pocket?
                        -Major Payne
                          Major Payne:
                          (Bending Tiger's finger backwards ready to break it) You want me to show you a little trick to get your mind off that pain???
                          -Major Payne
                            tommylees friend:
                            Tommy-lee! go outside, snacth yerself a squirrel, its time for breakfast!
                            -tommylees friend
                              Major Payne:
                              I'll stick my foot so far up you but that the sweat on my knee will quench your thirst
                              -Major Payne
                                deaf boy:
                                Dir yes Dir ( supposed to be Sir Yes Sir)
                                -deaf boy
                                  Major Payne:
                                  My name is MAJOR-BENSON-WINIFRED-PAYNE and as of 0800 I will be your commanding officer
                                  -Major Payne
                                    Major Payne:
                                    What we've got here is a failure to communicate.
                                    - Major Payne
                                      Major Payne:
                                      Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up.

                                      - Major Payne
                                        They won't let me go on a "Black Op," because I'm too little, and nobody ever lets you do anything when you're little.

                                          Major Payne:
                                          Move it, you turds! You'll get no sympathy from me! You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between "spit" and "syphilis!"... You there! Tell Marlee Matlin's son to get across that rope before I hang him with it!

                                          -Major Payne
                                            Major Payne:
                                            From now on, you will not eat, sleep, blow your nose or dig in your butts without my say! Killin'is my business, ladies, and business is good!

                                            -Major Payne