The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. Quotes
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    24415
      Pete Hutter: "I scoff at your moronic interpretation of hoosegow architecture!"
      24414
        President: "Gentlemen, how can I thank you?"

        Brisco: "Well, sir, you could start with a Presidential Pardon."

        Bowler: "How about a raise?"

        Brisco: "Bowler!"

        Bowler: "What?"

        President: (laughing) "That's very funny, Mr. Bowler: a raise. Very funny indeed!"

        Bowler: "What's funny about it?"
        24413
          Pete Hutter: "When fleeing, I suggest you follow the fly to the fleet that knows how to flee the fastest...and that would be me."
          24412
            Pete Hutter: "Tiny, the only thing tinier than your brain is the likelihood that a mouth-breathing, psychopathic wall of stink weed like you is ever gonna get out of this dung-hood. You got "leper" stabbed on your forehead, just like everybody in that micro-cephalic, imbecile-raided, beer-sucking, cousin-marrying family of elephants that you come from."
            24411
              Pete Hutter: "That's the thing about yer Chinese Death Stars - an hour after you get killed, you're alive again."
              24410
                Emma Steed: "Brisco, don't worry. I'm like a cat--with nine lives."

                Lord Bowler: "And what number you're on?"

                Emma Steed: "23?"
                24409
                  Brisco: "Karina, this is Socrates Poole, and this is..."

                  Karina: "Lord Bowler! Your faithful companion. Hi. It's in all the history books."
                  24408
                    Dr. Milo: "It's alright... when I... When I find myself in times of trouble, I say, boy you gotta carry that weight. I am he - you are he - you are me - we are all together, speaking words of wisdom come together right now. Amen..."
                    24407
                      Socrates Poole: "What can I do for you, Mister Pow?"

                      Lee Pow: "Not "Mister Pow." Not "Lee." Not "Pow." Not "Mister Lee Pow." Lee Pow."
                      24406
                        Enzio Tataglia: "In my country we have a saying: 'If you yodel in the forest, the yoo-hoo that you yoo-hoo will be the yoo-hoo that you get back."

                        Brisco: "Where were you from again?"
                        24405
                          Brisco: "Gor dae dao chai bing pa-tai. Uh, tai ah dingading bao."

                          Bowler: "Where'd you learn that?"

                          Brisco: "Harvard. Chinese 101."

                          Bowler: "Yeah, well they ain't answering you. You sure it wasn't Japanese 101?"

                          Brisco: (shrugs) "Might have been..."
                          24404
                            Lee Pow: "Ah, Brisco County, Jr. and Lord Bowler. Have a cookie. They're stale, but the fortunes are still fresh... Do not be dismayed so quickly. Let me teach you an old Chinese trick. Add the the words 'between the sheets' to your fortune. It enhances it greatly."

                            Bowler: "Things are looking up... hehhehhehheh"
                            24403
                              Dixie: "Look, I want no part of this. I'm not against parenthood as an institution, but I'm not ready to be institutionalized."
                              24402
                                Bowler: "Maybe you got a little more respect for ol' Lord Bowler now."
                                Brisco: "Well, certainly among all the active bounty hunters out there, you're the best singer."
                                Bowler: "That's true."
                                24401
                                  Professor Coles: "That's a completely fictitious title, I presume?"
                                  Lord Bowler: "No--I just made it up"
                                  24400
                                    Professor Albert Wickwire: "Now that seemed to work quite well.

                                    Brisco: Yeah, but there's still two of them out there."

                                    Professor Albert Wickwire: "I'm thinking of something that could be quite effective. I need some fishing line, coat hanger, soap, and some cheese."

                                    Brisco: "Cheese?"

                                    Professor Albert Wickwire: "I'm hungry."
                                    24399
                                      Brisco: "Correct me if I'm wrong, Pete; weren't you killed in a gunfight?"

                                      Pete: "I was only gut shot. I healed. I'm stronger now with less appetite."
                                      24398
                                        Professor Albert Wickwire: "This is a momentous day, gentlemen - I've never field-tested this before."

                                        Pete: "What?"

                                        Professor Albert Wickwire: "Nope! Never deeper than a water trough. That plumb line we dropped over showed over 60 feet of water. That's two atmospheres of pressure. This should be very interesting."

                                        Jack: (who can't hear anything) "What's he saying?"

                                        Pete:(smiling) "He thinks you're gonna drown!"
                                        24397
                                          Bowler: "What happened to Grave's End? Who put a dang lake here?"

                                          Brisco: "Dam."

                                          Bowler: "All right, damn lake."
                                          24396
                                            Bowler: "Help, Brisco, I can't swim!"

                                            Brisco: "Try standin' up!"