Family Guy Quotes
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    22644
      Peter and Lois:
      Peter: Hey, Lois?
      Lois: What?
      Peter: Diarrhea.
      Lois laughs: Peter, I'm holding iced tea!
      -Peter and Lois
      22643
        Chris,Meg and Peter:
        Chris: Brian's the new Meg! Brian's the new Meg!
        Meg: Yeah. You're the new me!
        Peter: Shut up, Meg.
        -Chris,Meg and Peter
        22642
          Peter, Lois:
          Peter: Hey Lois, what do you call a woman who cooks very slowly?
          Lois: Peter, I swear....
          Peter: Heh, heh, you call her Lois.
          -Peter, Lois
          22641
            Peter, Lois:
            Lois: "Peter, where did you go?"
            Peter: " To the can, because kissing you made me barf."
            -Peter, Lois
            22640
              Chris, Peter:
              Chris: "Hey dad, check out these little bananas.
              Peter: "Why, you little smug bast***.
              -Chris, Peter
              22639
                Tom Tucker:
                Hi Meg, you know how cute I think you are.
                -Tom Tucker
                22638
                  chumba-wumbas:
                  (singing) "What do you do if you're stuck in a chair? Finding it hard to go up and down stairs. What do you think of the one they call God? Don't you find his absence slightly odd?"
                  -chumba-wumbas
                  22637
                    mailwoman, quagmire:
                    mailwoman:" Package for Glen Quagmire." Quagmire: "Oh, hold on. (leaves & comes back) I got a package for you too!"
                    -mailwoman, quagmire
                    22636
                      Quagmire:
                      Heh.Alright!!!
                      -Quagmire
                      22635
                        bryan to mexican dude.:
                        Brian: Hola, me llamo es Brian ... Nosotros queremos ir con ustedes.. uhhhh ...
                        Bellboy (Spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.
                        Brian: Oh, oh you speak English!

                        -bryan to mexican dude.
                        22634
                          Chris:
                          Oh,no! Someone peed in my pants!
                          -Chris
                          22633
                            Peter:
                            Whoah,whoah,whoah,whoah,whoah.Lois, this isn't my Batman glass!
                            - Peter
                            22632
                              Joe and Brian:
                              Joe: Are you wearing a girl's sweater?
                              Brian: Does that really matter right now?
                              -Joe and Brian
                              22631
                                Adam West:
                                Perhaps it was the Noid who should've avoided me.
                                -Adam West
                                22630
                                  Peter:
                                  Firetrucks, firetrucks. What color are those red firetrucks?
                                  22629
                                    Peter:
                                    Uh-oh!
                                    -Peter
                                    22628
                                      The Pope:
                                      You make-a the pope look like a fool. God will make you pay. SMITE THEM!!!........................................................ He's-a-cookin something up.
                                      -The Pope
                                      22627
                                        Art Director:
                                        You understand that this means you can never see your father again.
                                        Chris:
                                        That's okay. He's very--Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?
                                        22626
                                          Lois:
                                          Are you Kate Moss? For someone with no breasts, you've done very well for yourself. Good for you.
                                          -Lois
                                          22625
                                            Chris:
                                            Chris: Dad, you're pretty, like a girl.
                                            -Chris