21069
Peggy: Luanne loves you, and you have no emotion for her at all?
Hank: I've got plenty of emotions. I was *afraid* she was going to hug me, I was *worried* she wouldn't leave, and I was *happy* when it was over.
Hank: I've got plenty of emotions. I was *afraid* she was going to hug me, I was *worried* she wouldn't leave, and I was *happy* when it was over.
21068
Peggy: Did you even happen to notice that Luanne was crying when she left here?
Hank: Well, when isn't she crying? She cries at weddings, she cries at funerals, there's no rhyme or reason to it.
Hank: Well, when isn't she crying? She cries at weddings, she cries at funerals, there's no rhyme or reason to it.
21067
Bobby: Goodbye, Luanne. I want you to know I never read your diary, even though you secretly suspected I did on June 18, 1995.
21066
Hank: Sometimes you gotta stop vomiting in the baby bird's mouth and kick her out of the nest.
Peggy: That's a very clever analogy, but you know from our own sidewalk that we are constantly raking up those little dried-up bird babies.
Peggy: That's a very clever analogy, but you know from our own sidewalk that we are constantly raking up those little dried-up bird babies.
21065
Luanne: Do you think Alex Trebek is sexy, Aunt Peg?
Peggy: Get out of my mind, Luanne.
Peggy: Get out of my mind, Luanne.
21064
Dale: You know how the Egyptians un-tipped the pyramids, don't you? With a winch, a cinder block, and 50,000 Hebrew slaves. You got a cinder block?
21063
Peggy: If they had a sponge that cleaned up broken dreams, Woolworth's would still be in business.
21062
Hank: A man came by from the Shiney Pines trailer park, and he said you still got a trailer there.
Luanne: No I don't, it tipped over.
Hank: But it's still there.
Luanne: No, it tipped over!
Hank: Luanne, let me try to explain. I have a beer can. I tip it over. Now, is it still there?
Luanne: I can't live in a beer can. I can live in a trailer, but I don't have a trailer because the trailer tipped over!
Luanne: No I don't, it tipped over.
Hank: But it's still there.
Luanne: No, it tipped over!
Hank: Luanne, let me try to explain. I have a beer can. I tip it over. Now, is it still there?
Luanne: I can't live in a beer can. I can live in a trailer, but I don't have a trailer because the trailer tipped over!
21061
Hank: Sir, we go back fifteen years, and in all that time I have only had one mistress, and her name is propane. Peggy and I have an understanding about that.
21060
Hank: You know, Debbie's place is right next to Sugarfoot's. That's quite a coincidence.
Mr. Strickland: No coincidence. I like to eat, I like to hump, and I don't like to drive. So I built Sugarfoot's next to the singles complex.
Mr. Strickland: No coincidence. I like to eat, I like to hump, and I don't like to drive. So I built Sugarfoot's next to the singles complex.
21059
Peggy: Yes! Yes! Thirteen for thirteen! Uh, huh! In your face, boy-ee! Uh-huh!
Hey, Bobby, it's your birthday, ch-ch-ch-ch ch-ch-ch-ch,
That's right, I served you cake, uh-huh,
I'm Peggy, pull your leg-y,
Oh, Bobby, let's go!
Say what? That's right!
I'm all that, I'm Peggy,
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, get funky!
Hey, Bobby, it's your birthday, ch-ch-ch-ch ch-ch-ch-ch,
That's right, I served you cake, uh-huh,
I'm Peggy, pull your leg-y,
Oh, Bobby, let's go!
Say what? That's right!
I'm all that, I'm Peggy,
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, get funky!
21058
Dale: My Bug-a-bago! What evil hath been wrought to befall this upon me?
21057
Connie: I came to apologize and make out with tongues.
Bobby: I don't know where your tongue's been. Oh, wait, yes I do!
Connie: I didn't mean to kiss Joseph. It was just that he was so sad, and tall.
Bobby: And you're so loose, and cheap!
Bobby: I don't know where your tongue's been. Oh, wait, yes I do!
Connie: I didn't mean to kiss Joseph. It was just that he was so sad, and tall.
Bobby: And you're so loose, and cheap!
21056
Minh: How did tall, dark and handsome get butt kicked by short, fat and redneck?
21055
Dooley: Joseph likes to watch.
21054
Peggy (lying in her coffin): Oh, Hank, it's like sleeping on a marshmallow.
21053
Hank: I am not sewing. I am upholstering, which is one of the five original industrial arts.
Dale: Whatever you say, Aunt Bee. Hey, while you're at it, maybe you can quilt one of them coffins for me. It's only a matter of time before Joseph's hormonal rage forces him to kill me in my sleep and marry my mother.
Dale: Whatever you say, Aunt Bee. Hey, while you're at it, maybe you can quilt one of them coffins for me. It's only a matter of time before Joseph's hormonal rage forces him to kill me in my sleep and marry my mother.
21052
Joseph: I want a girl too! I just can't stop thinking about 'em! I can't get girls out of my head! Just -- just get out!
21051
Joseph: I got stretch marks on my shoulders and zits on my back. I can't even ride my own bike any more. And a million times a day, my dad asks me "How's the weather up there?"
Bobby: Tell him it's fair to partly stupid.
Bobby: Tell him it's fair to partly stupid.
21050
Peggy: If you try to stick the late Peggy Hill in an inferior casket, she will come back to haunt you. I will see to that.
