King of the Hill Quotes
    Close
    21069
      Peggy: Luanne loves you, and you have no emotion for her at all?
      Hank: I've got plenty of emotions. I was *afraid* she was going to hug me, I was *worried* she wouldn't leave, and I was *happy* when it was over.

      21068
        Peggy: Did you even happen to notice that Luanne was crying when she left here?
        Hank: Well, when isn't she crying? She cries at weddings, she cries at funerals, there's no rhyme or reason to it.

        21067
          Bobby: Goodbye, Luanne. I want you to know I never read your diary, even though you secretly suspected I did on June 18, 1995.

          21066
            Hank: Sometimes you gotta stop vomiting in the baby bird's mouth and kick her out of the nest.
            Peggy: That's a very clever analogy, but you know from our own sidewalk that we are constantly raking up those little dried-up bird babies.
            21065
              Luanne: Do you think Alex Trebek is sexy, Aunt Peg?
              Peggy: Get out of my mind, Luanne.
              21064
                Dale: You know how the Egyptians un-tipped the pyramids, don't you? With a winch, a cinder block, and 50,000 Hebrew slaves. You got a cinder block?
                21063
                  Peggy: If they had a sponge that cleaned up broken dreams, Woolworth's would still be in business.
                  21062
                    Hank: A man came by from the Shiney Pines trailer park, and he said you still got a trailer there.
                    Luanne: No I don't, it tipped over.
                    Hank: But it's still there.
                    Luanne: No, it tipped over!
                    Hank: Luanne, let me try to explain. I have a beer can. I tip it over. Now, is it still there?
                    Luanne: I can't live in a beer can. I can live in a trailer, but I don't have a trailer because the trailer tipped over!

                    21061
                      Hank: Sir, we go back fifteen years, and in all that time I have only had one mistress, and her name is propane. Peggy and I have an understanding about that.
                      21060
                        Hank: You know, Debbie's place is right next to Sugarfoot's. That's quite a coincidence.
                        Mr. Strickland: No coincidence. I like to eat, I like to hump, and I don't like to drive. So I built Sugarfoot's next to the singles complex.

                        21059
                          Peggy: Yes! Yes! Thirteen for thirteen! Uh, huh! In your face, boy-ee! Uh-huh!
                          Hey, Bobby, it's your birthday, ch-ch-ch-ch ch-ch-ch-ch,
                          That's right, I served you cake, uh-huh,
                          I'm Peggy, pull your leg-y,
                          Oh, Bobby, let's go!
                          Say what? That's right!
                          I'm all that, I'm Peggy,
                          Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, get funky!

                          21058
                            Dale: My Bug-a-bago! What evil hath been wrought to befall this upon me?
                            21057
                              Connie: I came to apologize and make out with tongues.
                              Bobby: I don't know where your tongue's been. Oh, wait, yes I do!
                              Connie: I didn't mean to kiss Joseph. It was just that he was so sad, and tall.
                              Bobby: And you're so loose, and cheap!

                              21056
                                Minh: How did tall, dark and handsome get butt kicked by short, fat and redneck?
                                21055
                                  Dooley: Joseph likes to watch.
                                  21054
                                    Peggy (lying in her coffin): Oh, Hank, it's like sleeping on a marshmallow.
                                    21053
                                      Hank: I am not sewing. I am upholstering, which is one of the five original industrial arts.
                                      Dale: Whatever you say, Aunt Bee. Hey, while you're at it, maybe you can quilt one of them coffins for me. It's only a matter of time before Joseph's hormonal rage forces him to kill me in my sleep and marry my mother.
                                      21052
                                        Joseph: I want a girl too! I just can't stop thinking about 'em! I can't get girls out of my head! Just -- just get out!
                                        21051
                                          Joseph: I got stretch marks on my shoulders and zits on my back. I can't even ride my own bike any more. And a million times a day, my dad asks me "How's the weather up there?"
                                          Bobby: Tell him it's fair to partly stupid.
                                          21050
                                            Peggy: If you try to stick the late Peggy Hill in an inferior casket, she will come back to haunt you. I will see to that.