The Critic Quotes
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    20621
      Jay: You are an insipid walking commercial, and your cereal turned my urine pink!
      20620
        Jay: This film gets my highest rating...seven out of ten.
        20619
          Dressmaker: We dressmakers have a very strict code, so I need to know. Do you deserve to wear virginial white? Because if you don't, you'll have to wear an off-white, what we call a 'hussy white.' So which will it be? White-white?
          Margo: Yes...um...except for the gloves.
          20618
            Franklin: I'm not wearing pants. I split my pants and now I'm not wearing pants.
            20617
              Jay, Los Angeles is like a big Apple, the windy city, the cradle of civilization, the red planet! No wait, that's New York, Chicago, Babylonia, and Mars
              -Jeremy Hawke
              20616
                Jay: It worked! I'm a doc! I'm a happy, sneezy doc! *yawns* I'm a sleepy, happy, sneezy doc. I'd better get to bed or I'll be a grumpy, dopey, sleepy, happy, sneezy doc. Bashful?
                20615
                  Jay Sherman:
                  Ah, Naples. Why go to the city when you can bite the cookie that bears thy name?
                  -Jay Sherman
                  20614
                    Franklin:
                    I have a new girlfriend for you, son. Her name is Barbie and she lives in Mali-boo. She already has a boyfriend named Ken, but he's not much of a man, I checked.

                    -Franklin
                    20613
                      Jeremy:
                      Jay, we have a saying in Australia... well, it's not really a saying, it's a drinking song. It's about a bottle of beer and the men who loved her... and it doesn't really apply here, but my advice to you is slow down.
                      -Jeremy
                      20612
                        Marty Sherman:
                        This is worse than that time you sucker-punched Mr. Rogers!
                        -Marty Sherman
                        20611
                          Duke Phillips:
                          I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DUKE!
                          -Duke Phillips
                          20610
                            Duke Phillips:
                            ALL HAIL DUKE! DUKE IS LIFE!
                            -Duke Phillips
                            20609
                              Jay Sherman:
                              My therapist was right, God does hate me!
                              -Jay Sherman
                              20608
                                Jay Sherman:
                                EGGS DON'T RIPEN!
                                -Jay Sherman
                                20607
                                  The Critic:
                                  It Stinks
                                  -The Critic
                                  20606
                                    Orson Welles:
                                    Rosebud...

                                    Yes, rosebud Frozen Peas. Full of country goodness, and green Peaness.
                                    -Orson Welles