The Simpsons Quotes
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    15686
      Homer: Are you sure this is the Sci-Fi Convention? It's full of nerds!
      15685
        Homer: I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood.
        15684
          Homer: Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
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            Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!
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              Homer: The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth.
              15681
                Homer: Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!
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                  Barney: Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
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                    Homer: Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
                    15678
                      Grandpa Simpson: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.
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                        Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*
                        15676
                          Mayor Quimby: I stand by my racial slur.
                          15675
                            Ralphie: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
                            15674
                              Krusty the Clown: And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.
                              15673
                                Mr. Burns: [answering the phone] Ahoy-hoy?
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                                  Dr. Nick: Inflammable means flammable? What a country.
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                                    Krusty the Clown: Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to "Antidote", PO box…
                                    15670
                                      Superintendent Chalmers: I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children…
                                      15669
                                        Homer: (On the phone) Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
                                        Marge: Homer! Watch your mouth!
                                        Homer: Aw, I gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening.
                                        Lisa: We are not weiners!

                                        15668
                                          Principle Skinner (to hamster): Good job Nibbles, now chew through my ball sack.
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                                            CARTOON VIOLENCE! CARTOON VIOLENCE! - Bart and Milhouse