The Simpsons Quotes
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    15706
      Homer: Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours.
      15705
        Homer: Are you mad, woman? You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? And these TV guides... so many memories...
        15704
          Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!
          15703
            Grandpa: I can feel death's clammy hand on my shoulder...wait, that's my hand.
            15702
              Homer: Hey, can you take the wheel for a second? I have to scratch myself in two places at once!
              15701
                Homer: Let's just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV.
                15700
                  Homer: Our forecast calls for flurries of passion followed by an extended period of gettin' it on.
                  15699
                    Homer: I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
                    15698
                      Homer: This is the most exciting thing I've seen since Halley's comet collided with the moon.
                      15697
                        Grandpa: I always get the blame around here! Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch? Who got their dentures stuck on the toilet?
                        15696
                          Homer: I'm no supervising technician, I'm a technical supervisor.
                          15695
                            Homer: Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!
                            15694
                              Homer: Hey, this man is not breathing. Don't people usually breathe?
                              15693
                                Homer: I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch.
                                15692
                                  Homer: Look at them. Watching my TV. Sitting on my couch. You better not be in my ass groove!
                                  15691
                                    Homer: As the Bible says, "Thou shalt not horn in on thy husband's racket"
                                    15690
                                      Homer: And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.

                                      15689
                                        Ralphie: Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever.
                                        15688
                                          Ralphie: And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.
                                          15687
                                            Homer: We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?