The Simpsons Quotes
      Hello, everyone. Before last year's Halloween show, I warned you not to let your children watch. But you did anyway. Well, this year's episode is even worse. It's scarier, more violent, and I think they snuck in some bad language, too. So please, tuck in your children and-- (sighing) --well, if you didn't listen to me last time, you're not going to now. Enjoy the show.
      -Marge, introducing "Treehouse of Horror II"
        Bart: A-B-C...uh, line?
        Kindergarten Teacher: D!
        Bart: D-E...mmm, line?
        Kindergarten Teacher: F, Bart. And believe me, you'll be seeing plenty of 'em.
          Sweet Georgia Brown! Something is definitely rotten at the Simpson house.
          -Principal Skinner
            The world needs a clown.
            -Young Milhouse
              Well, class, the history of our country has been changed again, to correspond with Bart's answers on yesterday's test. America was now discovered in 1942 by... ''some guy.'' And our country isn't called America anymore... it's Bonerland.
              -Mrs. Krabappel.
                Bart (dancing on a picnic table before some other kindergartners): Principal Skinner is a nut... / He has a rubber butt!
                Principal Skinner (popping from behind a nearby tree): Young man, I can assure you my posterior is nothing more than flesh, bone, and that metal plate I got in 'Nam. Now I want you to knock off that potty talk right now!
                Bart: The principal said potty!
                Principal Skinner: You listen to me, son. You've just started school, and the path you choose may be the one you follow for the rest of your life. Now, what do you say?
                Bart: Eat my shorts.
                  If only they had peewee hockey when I was a lad.
                    Have it your way, baby.
                    -Troy McClure
                      Homer: (really fast) "BART, YOU WANNA SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK?!?"
                        Homer: (really fast) "BART, DO YOU WANT SOME BROWNIES BEFORE YOU GO TO BED?!?"
                          ralph wiggum:
                          my cats breath smells like cat food
                            "They taste like... burning!".
                            -Ralph Wiggum
                              "Mom, you keep disappearing and reappearing and I don't like it. You're just like that show Scrubs!"
                              -Homer Simpson
                                Hans Moleman: "The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage."
                                  Hans Moleman: "A poem, by Hans Moleman. I think that I shall never see, my cataracts are blinding me."
                                    Hans Moleman: "My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!"
                                      Ned: "Hey, Simpson! I'm feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear??"
                                      (Homer shoots Ned.)
                                      Bart: "Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders!"
                                      Homer: "He was a zombie?"
                                        "HEY!!!! This bandstand wasn't double bolted!"
                                        -James Brown
                                          "I call the big one bitey"
                                            Bart: Dad we just passed the lumber-yard.
                                            Homer: Hihihi, only losers BUY wood. We're going to natures lumber-yard hahahaha! (entering forest passing "forbidden" sighn)
                                            Once there: They're removing the wood underneath the traintracks.