The Simpsons Quotes
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    15746
      Hello, everyone. Before last year's Halloween show, I warned you not to let your children watch. But you did anyway. Well, this year's episode is even worse. It's scarier, more violent, and I think they snuck in some bad language, too. So please, tuck in your children and-- (sighing) --well, if you didn't listen to me last time, you're not going to now. Enjoy the show.
      -Marge, introducing "Treehouse of Horror II"
      15745
        Bart: A-B-C...uh, line?
        Kindergarten Teacher: D!
        Bart: D-E...mmm, line?
        Kindergarten Teacher: F, Bart. And believe me, you'll be seeing plenty of 'em.
        15744
          Sweet Georgia Brown! Something is definitely rotten at the Simpson house.
          -Principal Skinner
          15743
            The world needs a clown.
            -Young Milhouse
            15742
              Well, class, the history of our country has been changed again, to correspond with Bart's answers on yesterday's test. America was now discovered in 1942 by... ''some guy.'' And our country isn't called America anymore... it's Bonerland.
              -Mrs. Krabappel.
              15741
                Bart (dancing on a picnic table before some other kindergartners): Principal Skinner is a nut... / He has a rubber butt!
                Principal Skinner (popping from behind a nearby tree): Young man, I can assure you my posterior is nothing more than flesh, bone, and that metal plate I got in 'Nam. Now I want you to knock off that potty talk right now!
                Bart: The principal said potty!
                Principal Skinner: You listen to me, son. You've just started school, and the path you choose may be the one you follow for the rest of your life. Now, what do you say?
                Bart: Eat my shorts.
                15740
                  If only they had peewee hockey when I was a lad.
                  -Snake
                  15739
                    Have it your way, baby.
                    -Troy McClure
                    15738
                      Homer: (really fast) "BART, YOU WANNA SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK?!?"
                      15737
                        Homer: (really fast) "BART, DO YOU WANT SOME BROWNIES BEFORE YOU GO TO BED?!?"
                        15736
                          ralph wiggum:
                          my cats breath smells like cat food
                          15735
                            "They taste like... burning!".
                            -Ralph Wiggum
                            15734
                              "Mom, you keep disappearing and reappearing and I don't like it. You're just like that show Scrubs!"
                              -Homer Simpson
                              15733
                                Hans Moleman: "The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage."
                                15732
                                  Hans Moleman: "A poem, by Hans Moleman. I think that I shall never see, my cataracts are blinding me."
                                  15731
                                    Hans Moleman: "My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!"
                                    15730
                                      Ned: "Hey, Simpson! I'm feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear??"
                                      (Homer shoots Ned.)
                                      Bart: "Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders!"
                                      Homer: "He was a zombie?"
                                      15729
                                        "HEY!!!! This bandstand wasn't double bolted!"
                                        -James Brown
                                        15728
                                          "I call the big one bitey"
                                          -Homer
                                          15727
                                            Bart: Dad we just passed the lumber-yard.
                                            Homer: Hihihi, only losers BUY wood. We're going to natures lumber-yard hahahaha! (entering forest passing "forbidden" sighn)
                                            Once there: They're removing the wood underneath the traintracks.