The Simpsons Quotes
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    15783
      Parent's occupation. Note: Homemaker is not allowed as it is not real work that's why you don't get paid. Oh!

      --Marge Simpson
      15782
        Homer: "Simpson. Homer Simpson. He's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree."
        15781
          Hi-diddly-ho, neighbor-inos! -Ned Flanders
          15780
            Me fail English? That's unpossible. -Ralph
            15779
              Barney: You're very kind.
              Woman: Excuse me, did something crawl down your throat and die?
              Barney: It didn't die.
              15778
                Call Mr. Plow. That's my name. That name again is Mr. Plow. -Homer
                15777
                  Little girl: *calls up 'Bart Chat' hotline*
                  Barney: *picks up* Bart Chat.
                  Little girl: Are you Bart?
                  Barney: Sure I am. I didn't do nothin'.
                  Little girl: Um, isn't it 'I didn't do it'?
                  Barney: Yeah, whatever. *Burps*
                  15776
                    Abe Simpson: *crashes car into Springfield Aquarium* Is this the Dairy Queen?
                    15775
                      Look our ratings are down and station is being swamped with angry letters and letter bombs and it's all your fault.

                      Yes.... Yes it is.

                      This is the DJ3000. It plays records and has dozens of volumes of innate banter.

                      That was the caller from hell! Well hot dog we have a wiener.

                      Hey that thing is great.

                      Don't praise the machine.

                      If you don't get that kid an elephant by tomorrow the DJ3000 gets your job.

                      [Clank]

                      Those clowns in congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.

                      How does it keep up?

                      Bill, Marty and the KBBL Station Manager
                      15774
                        Troy: "Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as 'Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die' and 'Gladys, The Groovy Mule'".
                        15773
                          Homer: Wait! That's a classic 1978 Pizza Hut. (eats a pepperoni) Mmm. Terrible.
                          15772
                            He told me to burn things!
                            -Ralph
                            15771
                              Duffman, can't breat. OH NO!
                              -Duffman
                              15770
                                Millhouse (at the dam): I didn't do anything.
                                FBI Agent: I don't care.
                                Millhouse (after jumping off the dam and landing into the water): Ow, my glasses.
                                15769
                                  Lisa: "I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart."
                                  Bart: "We're all gonna die, Lis."
                                  Lisa: "I meant soon."
                                  Bart: "So did I."
                                  15768
                                    Lisa: "Look in the tunk... I think he means trunk."
                                    15767
                                      I'm just a lonely guy.
                                      -Herb Powell (Homer's long-lost half-brother)
                                      15766
                                        Homer: "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
                                        15765
                                          (after shaving Lisa's head) "Who's cuter now?"
                                          Baby Bart
                                          15764
                                            Homer: "It seems you were caught, by the very man trying to catch you."
                                            Skinner: "How ironic."