The Road to Wellville Quotes
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    13261
      William Lightbody: You were masturbating!
      Dr. Lionel Badger: I was not! I was massaging my colon!
      William Lightbody: I know what the colon is, sir, and it does not stick up into the air!
      13260
        Virginia Cranehill: Marriage is just legalized prostitution, my dear.
        13259
          Goodloe Bender: Health! The 'open sesame' to the sucker's purse!
          13258
            Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: Build up your resolve, not your genitals!
            13257
              Eleanor Lightbody: I wanted to be more than a hole in the mattress that answers to a name.
              13256
                Ida Muntz: Do you masticate, Mr. Lightbody?
                13255
                  Endymion Hart-Jones: The enemas take some getting used to, but, in time, you'll learn to look forward to them like an old friend with a cold nose.
                  13254
                    Charles Ossining: With friends like you, who needs enemas?
                    13253
                      Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: An erection is a flagpole on your grave.
                      13252
                        Charles: You hooked me like a fish, Bender. You scaled me, you gutted me, you stuffed me and fried me, chewed me up, swallowed me, and shat me out again!
                        13251
                          Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit.