National Lampoon's Vacation Quotes
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    31870
      Marty Moose:
      Sorry folks we're closed for 2 weeks to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park. SORRY! HUU HUU HUU!
      31012
        Clark:
        I'm just trying to treat my family to a little fun.
        Ellen:
        Oh spare me, Clark, I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1000 miles out of the way to see the world's largest pile of mud!
        31011
          Clark: :
          I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes! I must be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!
          Rusty::
          Dad, you want an Asprin?
          Clark: :
          Don't touch!
          5102
            Clark: Exscuse me Sir? Can you tell us how to get back to the freeway?
            Street thug: F*@#% Yo Mamma!
            Clark: Thank You Very Much.
            5101
              Rusty: Wow, dad you must have dropped this thing by 50 yards....

              Clark: I don't think that was possible, Russ

              Clark looks around and mumbles to himself
              Clark: 50 yards....huh.
              5100
                After the crash in Arizona...

                Ellen: I think I broke my nose
                Rusty: I stabbed my brain.
                Audrey: I just got my period.
                5099
                  ellen and Audrey:
                  Ellen: Hope you learned an important lesson here kids.
                  Audrey: Yeah don't die unless somebody's home.
                  -ellen and Audrey
                  5098
                    Aunt Edna:
                    Well am I gonna eat or am I gonna starve to death?
                    -Aunt Edna
                    5097
                      Police Officer:
                      Poor little fella, after the first ten miles or so he tried to keep up with ya, but after that....(shrugs)
                      -Police Officer
                      5096
                        John Candy as the security guard:
                        Sorry folks, parks closed....the moose out front should have told ya.
                        -John Candy as the security guard
                        5095
                          aunt Edna & Ellen:
                          Aunt Edna: You are the ones that sent me that fruit cake for Christmas. It made me so sick. Ellen: Were sorry we thought you enjoyed fruit cake. Aunt Edna: You enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude?
                          -aunt Edna & Ellen
                          5094
                            Clark, Rusty and Audry:
                            When I said where do you wanna go on vacation, where did you say? Rusty?

                            Rusty: Hawaii?

                            Clark: Shut up Rus, Audry?

                            Audry: Walley World Dad?

                            Clark: Walley World Dad!
                            -Clark, Rusty and Audry
                            5093
                              Clark:
                              When I was a boy, just about every summer we'd take a vacation. And you know, in 18 years, we never had fun.

                              -Clark
                              5092
                                Ellen:
                                They're all wet... Oh God!... The dog wet on the picnic basket.

                                -Ellen
                                5091
                                  Ellen:
                                  Find a bush, Audrey!
                                  -Ellen