4990
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob
4989
Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up
4988
Steve: Good evening Sir, my name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions.
4987
Bob Slydell: I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons. Now we had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.
4986
Peter Gibbons: I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch Kung Fu. Do you ever watch Kung Fu?
Joanna: I love Kung Fu.
Joanna: I love Kung Fu.
4985
Peter Gibbons: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, it doesn't really matter. I don't like my job, and, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
4984
Samir: Why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks
4983
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man
4982
Joanna: How dare you judge me? I mean what are you? You think you're some kind of, like, angel here? No, you're just this penny-stealing, wanna-be criminal man.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, well, that may be. But at least I never slept with Lumbergh.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, well, that may be. But at least I never slept with Lumbergh.
4981
Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
4980
Peter Gibbons: Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you'd do if you had a million dollars and you didn't have to work. And invariably what you'd say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.
Samir: So what did you say?
Peter Gibbons: I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.
Samir: So what did you say?
Peter Gibbons: I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.
4979
Peter Gibbons: Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this but us, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
4978
Peter Gibbons: Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to both of you guys.
Bob Slydell: Absolutely, the pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me.
Peter Gibbons: Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.
Bob Porter: Excellent.
Bob Slydell: Absolutely, the pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me.
Peter Gibbons: Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.
Bob Porter: Excellent.
4977
Bill Lumbergh: You can just go ahead and move a little bit to the left. Yeah, that's it. Great
4976
Lawrence: We still goin' fishin' this weekend?
Peter Gibbons: Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday, I just know it.
Lawrence: Well, you can get out of that easily.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah? How?
Lawrence: Well, when a boss wants you to work on Saturday he generally asks you at the end of the day, right?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Lawrence: So, all you gotta do is avoid him. On the last few hours on Friday, duck out early, turn off your answering machine. You should be home free, man.
Peter Gibbons: Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday, I just know it.
Lawrence: Well, you can get out of that easily.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah? How?
Lawrence: Well, when a boss wants you to work on Saturday he generally asks you at the end of the day, right?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Lawrence: So, all you gotta do is avoid him. On the last few hours on Friday, duck out early, turn off your answering machine. You should be home free, man.
4975
Tom Smykowski: It was a Jump to Conclusions mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor... and would have different conclusions written on it that you could jump to.
4974
Drew: I'm thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics. If things go well I might be showing her my O-face.
4973
Bob Slydell: I'll be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman".
4972
"I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there."
- Bill Lumbergh
- Bill Lumbergh
4971
"Hey Peter, I'm gonna have to ask you to come in on Saturday... so if you could just get here around 9:00, that would be great.
Oh, yeahhhh, I'm gonna need to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday too."
- Bill Lumberg
Oh, yeahhhh, I'm gonna need to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday too."
- Bill Lumberg
