A Garfield Christmas Special Quotes
      Garfield: "Why is it every Christmas I get drug out of my warm bed just to see some stupid old relatives? And why is it I always have to go to the stupid old farm? Why can't they come here where my warm bed is? And why...am I whispering?"
        Jon: "It's the gift that keeps on giving, Garfield. Here, let me show you. Now watch this. This gift giving machine can read your mind. Whatever you think of it will give you!"
          Jon: "Here are your breakfast lasagnas. You may eat your way to the tree."
            Jon: "Hey, Mom, pass the potatoes please."
            Mom: "Scalloped, whipped, fried, baked or boiled?"
            Jon: "Oh, Mom, you always fix too much food."
            Mom: "I know, Honey, I know. Now what would you like?"
            Jon: "I can't decide. Just give me a piece of pie."
            Mom: "Apple, peach, pumpkin, blueberry, cherry or banana cream?"
              Garfield: "All right, you guys. Just permit me one sentimental moment here, will ya? I have something to say. Christmas, it's not the giving, it's not the getting, it's the loving. There, I said it, now get out of here."
                Jon: "Is it time to open our presents yet?"
                Dad: "It's one-thirty in the morning, no it's not time to open presents yet!"
                Doc Boy: "It is Christmas morning, you know."
                Jon: "Doc Boy has a point there, Dad. Any time after midnight is technically Christmas morning, you know."
                Dad: "GO...to bed!"
                  Grandma: "What's this, Jon? I see you're putting on a little belly. Is that city life making you soft?"
                  [elbows Jon in the gut]
                  Grandma: "You're getting soft, boy! You need to get more physical. Take me, I do a hundred sit-ups every morning. My belly's hard as a rock. Come on, hit me right here. Give me your best shot."
                    Mom: "By any chance, you're not thinking about putting chili powder in my sausage gravy, hmm, are you Grandma?"
                    Grandma: "Why, no! Heaven's to Betsy, child, whatever would give you such a notion?"
                    [Mom walks away]
                    Grandma: "Just because my chili gravy won a blue ribbon at the county fair and your gravy didn't even place, who am I to tell you how to make gravy? The Green County gravy champion, that's who!"
                      Jon: Hey mom can I have a piece of pie?

                      Mom: Sure honey! Peach, Apple, Blueberry, Banana Cream?
                        Now watch this: this gift-giving machine can read your mind. Whatever you think of, it will give you! Observe.
                          That's just for starters. Now THIS is what Christmas is all about!
                            Climbing trees is my life, sir. If I'm not back in an hour, send a banana cream pie after me.
                              Mmmm...attentive service, excellent cuisine. However the decor leave something to be desired. I'd give this place--two stars.
                                Mom and Grandma:
                                Mom: "Isn't this wonderful? The WHOLE family is together again for the holidays. Oh, we're going to have such as splendid Christmas! I'M so happy I could just burst!"
                                Grandma: "Oh, put a sock in it, dearie."
                                -Mom and Grandma
                                  Whoever invented Christmas trees should be drug out into the street and shot.
                                    Listen carefully, Jon: I don't do pop quizzes before breakfast, OK?
                                      Dad, Jon, and Doc Boy:
                                      Dad: "Well, what do you boys wanna do first? You wanna do chores, you wanna eat breakfast, or do you wanna open presents?"
                                      Jon and Doc Boy: "PRESENTS!"
                                      -Dad, Jon, and Doc Boy
                                        Good boy, bad boy, oh boy, atta boy.