Twice Upon a Time Quotes
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    33917
      Flora:
      Uncle Greenie, is it really you?
      Greensleeves:
      Basically it is, yeah.
      Flora:
      You're short and bent!
      Greensleeves:
      I'm short and bent.
      Flora:
      What happened to my Uncle Greenie, the handsome dashing hero?
      Greensleves:
      He got short and bent. But he's glad to see you nonetheless... come here darling, let me give you a kiss you sweet love! [sound of kissing]
      Rod Rescueman:
      [enviously] *I* should get short and bent!
      33916
        Ralph:
        [looking at pictures of Din] Hey, it looks real nice. Are they friendly at all?
        Botch:
        Oh, they are! They love to be friendly except they rush around so much, they don't have the time to be friendly.
        Ralph:
        The "what" don't they?
        Botch:
        The TIME. They have clocks and watches on their wrists which tell them the time they don't have because they are always rushing. And they think they don't have...
        Ralph:
        Wait, wait, I'm not get... What is "time"?
        Botch:
        Two o'clock, four o'clock, five o'clock.
        Ralph:
        Yes, but there's something that tells them that they don't have something?
        Botch:
        Yeah.
        Ralph:
        It's a clock?
        Botch:
        It's a clock.
        Ralph:
        And they watch it?
        Botch:
        They watch it.
        Ralph:
        And it tells them...?
        Botch:
        The time.
        Ralph:
        That they don't have.
        Botch:
        It's simple, easy. Get it?
        Ralph:
        Oh. Uh... Uh-huh.
        33915
          Fairy Godmother:
          Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire!
          Rod Rescueman:
          Would you like to be rescued?
          Fairy Godmother:
          [fire stop blazing] More than life itself! [fire begins to blaze again]
          Rod Rescueman:
          Let me just suck those flames up then! [sucks flames into his mouth]
          Fairy Godmother:
          My hero!
          Rod Rescueman:
          Thank you! [blows out flames all over the fairy godmother turning her black and crispy with the top of her wand eventually falling off]
          Fairy Godmother:
          Oh, jeez! This is pain!
          Rod Rescueman:
          Do I get the job, or should we move right onto the shark infested waters test?
          Fairy Godmother:
          I'll give you the job, you'll get out of here!
          33914
            Rod Rescueman:
            I'm a super hero!
            Fairy Godmother:
            You're kidding
            Rod Rescueman:
            I'm actually not a full fledged one, I'm on my learner's permit but that's almost as good.
            Fairy Godmother:
            You have a resume, perhaps I could check something out?
            Rod Rescueman:
            Yeah I do, right here. It's a blank piece of paper but it is notarized and it's legal signed.
            Fairy Godmother:
            You've made my day! If only I could give you a little test you could show me that you're capable of doing...
            Rod Rescueman:
            I've got an idea!
            Fairy Godmother:
            Yes?
            Rod Rescueman:
            Why don't you give me a test?
            Fairy Godmother:
            There's an idea!
            Rod Rescueman:
            Thank you!
            Fairy Godmother:
            Let me think of something... Here we go, I though of it so very quickly, let's pretend that I'm a damsel in distress.
            Rod Rescueman:
            You'll be the damsel in distress.
            Fairy Godmother:
            Better me than you.
            Rod Rescueman:
            Well I couldn't rescue myself, that doesn't count.
            Fairy Godmother:
            It really doesn't. [flies up onto her desk] OK, to make it a little more interesting I will be a damsel in distress currently on fire.
            Rod Rescueman:
            At this moment, on fire.
            Fairy Godmother:
            Here we go. [lights a ring of fire around her] Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire! Oh, help!
            Rod Rescueman:
            This is the test where I show you...
            Fairy Godmother:
            This is where you jump in and do something!
            Rod Rescueman:
            Alright, you're on fire...
            Fairy Godmother:
            Currently!
            Rod Rescueman:
            Excuse me ma'am! Superheros are very polite!
            Fairy Godmother:
            [fire stops blazing] Skip polite, go right back! [fire starts blazing again] I now feel molecules charing internally!
            Rod Rescueman:
            Gotchya!
            33913
              Ralph:
              I got a duck?
              33912
                Ralph:
                Ok, ok. I'm scared; it's official.
                33911
                  Automated feminine voicetrack:
                  Welcome to the Garbagerie. Please follow the happy feet.
                  33910
                    Rod Rescueman:
                    [Flying in with fanfare] Hello.
                    The Fairy Godmother:
                    Yes, who are you?
                    Rod Rescueman:
                    My name is Rod Rescueman.
                    The Fairy Godmother:
                    And what do I learn from that?
                    Rod Rescueman:
                    My name.
                    33909
                      Botch:
                      [Discovering Rod Rescueman has rescued Flora Fauna] How did this happen? Where were you, watching reruns again? I don't wanna hear excuses! She'll be back; The Murkworks is in her blood, her sap, her plasma, or whatever she has!
                      33908
                        Scuzzbopper:
                        I'm through with nightmare scripts! I'm starting work on The Great Amurkian Novel! Pulitzer Prize, here I come!
                        33907
                          Flora:
                          Uncle Greenie, where are you?
                          Greensleeves:
                          Under the door, ya twit!
                          Rod Rescueman:
                          That's a pretty stupid place to be when people are knocking doors down!
                          33906
                            Fairy Godmother:
                            Call me F.G.M. I hate excess verbiage.
                            33905
                              Greensleeves:
                              Happy as rats they are. They tap dance not, neither do they fart.
                              12562
                                Flora Fauna (falling): "How shall I hit the ground? Let me count the ways!"

                                "Oh, if I weren't already, I'd be green!"
                                12561
                                  Ralph: "Thank you Fairy God Mother!"

                                  Fairy God Mother: "Call me F.G.M. ... I hate excess verbiage".
                                  12560
                                    Ralph: "Thank you Fairy God Mother!"

                                    Fairy God Mother: "Call me F.G.M. ... I hate excess verbiage".
                                    12559
                                      Ralph: "We've been fired by a fairy. How humilliating."