Matilda Quotes
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    12541
      Matilda: It's not trash, daddy. It's lovely. Moby Dick by Herman Melville.
      Harry Wormwood: Moby WHAT?
      12540
        Harry Wormwood: Are you being smart with me? If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished.
        Matilda: Punished for being smart?
        Harry Wormwood: For being a smart aleck! When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson!
        Matilda: Person?
        12539
          Harry Wormwood: College? I didn't go to college. I don't know anybody who did. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha...
          Jenny: Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate.
          Harry Wormwood: Yeah...
          Jenny: Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college too.
          Harry Wormwood: What car? Sued by who? Who you been talking to?
          Jenny: N-nobody.
          12538
            Agatha Trunchbull: I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. Can you service me?
            Harry Wormwood: In a manner of speaking, yes.
            12537
              Agatha Trunchbull: My school is a model of discipline! Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto.
              Harry Wormwood: Terrific motto!
              12536
                Agatha Trunchbull: You have brats yourself?
                Harry Wormwood: Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mistake, Matilda.
                Agatha Trunchbull: They're all mistakes, children! Filthy, nasty things. Glad I never was one.
                12535
                  Harry Wormwood: What a waste of time! Zinnia Wormwood: And painful! Harry Wormwood: And expensive... $9.25 for a bar of soap?
                  12534
                    Mr. Wormwood and Matilda:
                    Mr. Wormwood: "A book? What do ya wanna book for?"
                    Matida: "To read."
                    Mr. Wormwood: "To read? Why would you wanna read when you've got the television set sittin' right in front of ya?"
                    -Mr. Wormwood and Matilda
                    12533
                      Mr. Wormwood:
                      I will not be the figure of ridicule! I want respect and I want it now!
                      -Mr. Wormwood
                      12532
                        Miss Trunchbull:
                        If you're having fun, you're not learning.
                        -Miss Trunchbull
                        12531
                          Mr. Wormwood:
                          "From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when *exactly,* when I say it!"
                          -Mr. Wormwood
                          12530
                            Amanda Thripp and the class:
                            Amanda: "Mrs. D, Mrs. I..."
                            Class: "Mrs. F-F-I, Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y."
                            -Amanda Thripp and the class
                            12529
                              Miss Trunchbull (the class just spelled :
                              WHY are all these women married?! Mrs. D, Mrs. I, you should be teaching spelling, not poetry!
                              -Miss Trunchbull (the class just spelled
                              12528
                                Mr. Wormwood:
                                Chew your food, you're an animal!
                                -Mr. Wormwood
                                12527
                                  Miss Trunchbull:
                                  Your mommy...is a TWIT!
                                  -Miss Trunchbull
                                  12526
                                    Narrator:
                                    Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, somebody like the kind, courageous people in her books. But it occured to her that talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb, such people would only exist in storybooks.
                                    -Narrator
                                    12525
                                      Mikey:
                                      Hey, dip face, have a marshmallow. Have another marshmallow, dip face!
                                      -Mikey
                                      12524
                                        Mr. Wormwood and Matilda:
                                        Mr. Wormwood: "Get in the car, Melinda!"
                                        Matilda: "Matilda!"
                                        Mr. Wormwood: "Whatever!"

                                        -Mr. Wormwood and Matilda
                                        12523
                                          Narrator:
                                          Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Some will grow up to be butchers, bakers, or candlestick makers. Some will only be really good at making Jello salad.
                                          -Narrator
                                          12522
                                            Mr. Wormwood:
                                            "Listen you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it!"
                                            -Mr. Wormwood