Clerks Quotes
      Jay: Olaf, what part of Russia you from?
      Olaf Oleeson: Moscow.
        Wynarski: A wise ass too huh? Yeah, keep crackin' wise. That's why you're jockeying some f*ckin' cash register in a local convenience store instead of out there workin' a real job.
          Jay: Pack o' wraps, my brotherman, time to kick back, drink some beers and smoke some weed!
            Dante Hicks: A little word of advice, my friend. Sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go.
              Randal Graves: I'll bet you 20 bucks you don't get to rent that tape.
                Wynarski: Hey, you see a set keys around here?
                Randal Graves: No time for love, Doctor Jones!
                  Veronica Loughran: Freeze! Let's see some credentials. *Slowly*. You're a Chewley's Gum Representative? And you're stirring up all this anti-smoking sentiment to, what, sell more gum? GET OUT OF HERE! And you people, don't you have jobs to go to? Get out of here, go commute! You oughta be ashamed of yourselves. Bunch of easily-led automatons. Try thinking for yourselves before you pelt an innocent man with cigarettes!
                    Randal Graves: Some guy just came in refusing to pay late fees. Said the video store was closed for two hours yesterday. So, I tore up his membership.
                    Dante Hicks: Shocking abuse of authority.
                    Randal Graves: Hey, I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.
                      Randal Graves: Duh duh... duh duh... duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh... Salsa shark! We're gonna need a bigger boat! Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa. Shark's in the salsa. Our shark.
                        Jay: I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight.
                          Dante Hicks: You get me slapped with a fine. You pick fights with the customers and I have to patch everything up. You get us chased out of a funeral home by violating a corpse. To top it all off, you ruined my relationship with Veronica! What's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?
                            Dante Hicks: You hate people!
                            Randal Graves: But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?
                              Dante Hicks: Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!
                                Dante Hicks: 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!
                                Customer: In a row?
                                  Dante Hicks: I'm 37?
                                    Dante Hicks: Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that's what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.
                                      Randal Graves: People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl "Mom."
                                        Silent Bob: You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
                                          Dante Hicks: Someone jammed gum in the locks.
                                          Veronica Loughran: You're kidding.
                                          Dante Hicks: Bunch of savages in this town.
                                            Hubcap Customer: Do you sell hubcaps for a '72 Pinto hatchback? Ooh, Mini-Trucker Magazine!