3109
Uncle Lewis: Hey Gris, if you're not doing anything constructive, run into the living room and get my stogey.
Clark: Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis?
Ellen: He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas.
Clark: If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas.
Clark: Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis?
Ellen: He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas.
Clark: If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas.
3108
Margo: You just march over there and slug that creep in the face.
Todd: I can't just attack someone.
Margo: Alright then, if you're not man enough to put an end to this shit, then I am.
Todd: I can't just attack someone.
Margo: Alright then, if you're not man enough to put an end to this shit, then I am.
3107
[a squirrel is loose in the house]
Clark: Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.
Cousin Catherine Johnson: Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.
Clark: Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.
Cousin Catherine Johnson: Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.
3106
[after Clark fails at lighting all the exterior Christmas lights at the "lighting ceremony" in front of the entire family]
Frances: Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.
Audrey: He worked really hard, Grandma.
Art: So do washing machines.
Frances: Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.
Audrey: He worked really hard, Grandma.
Art: So do washing machines.
3105
Aunt Bethany: What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound.
Uncle Lewis: You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Uncle Lewis: You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
3104
Ellen: Welcome to our home - what's left of it.
3103
Next door neighbors-
Margot: Why is the floor all wet todd?
Todd: I DONT KNOW MARGOT.
Margot: Why is the floor all wet todd?
Todd: I DONT KNOW MARGOT.
3102
Clarke: "And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney, he'll see the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."
3101
Clarke: "This will be the hap hap happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tapdanced with Danny "f*ckin' Kaye."
3100
Clark W. Griswold: Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber!!!
3099
Ruby Sue and Clark:
Ruby sue--"Dads been shittin bricks cause he aint got no monet to buy us anything."
Clark-- "You shouldn't say words like that."
Ruby Sue-- "Sorry, Shittin rocks."
-Ruby Sue and Clark
Clark-- "You shouldn't say words like that."
Ruby Sue-- "Sorry, Shittin rocks."
-Ruby Sue and Clark
3098
Clark:
Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want he
-Clark
-Clark
3097
Aunt Bethanie and Uncle Louis:
Bethanie- Oh dear, did I break wind?
Louis- Jesus, did the room clear out? Hell no, she means presents. You shouldn't have brought presents.
Bethanie- It's not every day some one moves into a new house.
Louis- They didn't move into a new house!
-Aunt Bethanie and Uncle Louis
Louis- Jesus, did the room clear out? Hell no, she means presents. You shouldn't have brought presents.
Bethanie- It's not every day some one moves into a new house.
Louis- They didn't move into a new house!
-Aunt Bethanie and Uncle Louis
3096
clark:
can I refill your egg nogg for you? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere? Leave you for dead?
-clark
-clark
3095
Clark:
if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I woulden't be any more surprised than I am right now?
-Clark
-Clark
3094
Neighbor and Clark Grisworld:
Rich neibor: Hey Griswold, where do you think you're going to put a tree that big? Clark: Brnd over and i'll show you.
-Neighbor and Clark Grisworld
-Neighbor and Clark Grisworld
3093
Clark:
Merry Christmas. Mery Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass, Kiss your ass. Happy Hannukah.
-Clark
-Clark
3092
Cousin Eddie:
Merry Christmas. Shitter was full!
-Cousin Eddie
-Cousin Eddie
