Good Morning, Vietnam Quotes
    Close
    2462
      Adrian Cronauer:
      (In response to Sgt. Maj. Dickerson's "what does three up and three down mean to you.") "The end of an inning"
      -Adrian Cronauer
      2461
        Sgt. Maj. Dickerson:
        What does three up and three down mean to you, Airman
        -Sgt. Maj. Dickerson
        2460
          Adrian Cronauer:
          He is in the most dire need of a blowjob than any other white man in history
          -Adrian Cronauer
          2459
            Edward Garlick:
            We got one letter from a man who thought that Hauk's comedy was "visionary and interesting." The other eleven hundred calls say that the man can't do comedy to save his dick!... That's a direct quote, sir.

            -Edward Garlick
            2458
              Adrian Cronauer:
              Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
              -Adrian Cronauer
              2457
                Adrian Cronauer:
                Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test! This is rock and roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the D.M.Z.!

                -Adrian Cronauer
                2456
                  Adrian Cronauer:
                  Mantovani? They feed Mantovani to insomniacs who don't respond to strong drugs!
                  -Adrian Cronauer
                  2455
                    Lt. Steven Hauk:
                    First of all, don't make fun of the weather here, and don't say the weather is the same all the time here. Because it's not. In fact, it's two degrees colder today than yesterday.

                    -Lt. Steven Hauk
                    2454
                      Lt. Steven Hauk:
                      Sir, in my heart, I know I'm funny.

                      -Lt. Steven Hauk
                      2453
                        Adrian Cronauer:
                        What is the difference between the Cub Scouts and the military? Bzzzzzt! Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery!

                        -Adrian Cronauer
                        2452
                          Adrian Cronauer:
                          You know, you're very beautiful. You're also very quiet. And I'm not used to girls being that quiet unless they're medicated. Normally I go out with girls who talk so much you could hook them up to a wind turbine and they could power a small New Hamps
                          -Adrian Cronauer
                          2451
                            Private Abersold:
                            I don't know, Lieutenant, I guess it means good morning, Vietnam.
                            -Private Abersold
                            2450
                              Adrian Cronauer:
                              Here's a news flash: Today President Lyndon Johnson passed a highway beautification bill. The bill basically said that his daughters could not drive in a convertible on public highways.

                              -Adrian Cronauer
                              2449
                                Adrian Cronauer:
                                She's beautiful and quick. Speed up, check her stamina. Oh my God, they're quick, they're fast, and small. Ha, ha, ha, ha! I feel like a fox in a chicken coop!

                                -Adrian Cronauer
                                2448
                                  Adrian Cronauer:
                                  Aw, Edward, you don't understand. I've been on a small Greek island with a lot of women who look like Zorba, I never thought I'd find women attractive ever again. And now that I do, you won't even turn the car around? Thanks a lot.
                                  -Adrian Cronauer
                                  2447
                                    Adrian Cronauer:
                                    Mayday! Mayday! Dragon-Lady with incredible figure at 11 o'clock! Stop the car.

                                    -Adrian Cronauer
                                    2446
                                      Adrian Cronauer:
                                      What's the demilitarized zone? It sounds like something from the Wizard of Oz "Oh no don't go in there!" "Ohhh wee ohh. Ho Chi Minn." "Oh look you've landed in Saigon. You're amongst the little people now." "We represent the ARVN army, the ARVN
                                      -Adrian Cronauer
                                      2445
                                        Edward Garlick:
                                        What will you do, sir? What will you do? What will you do with your time?

                                        -Edward Garlick
                                        2444
                                          Adrian Cronauer:
                                          In the dictionary under "asshole" it says "See him."

                                          -Adrian Cronauer
                                          2443
                                            Adrian Cronauer:
                                            Oh, I don't know. There are plenty of things I can think of. Maybe go downtown and try to find a Vietnamese man named "Phil."

                                            -Adrian Cronauer