Mrs. Doubtfire Quotes
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    32273
      Cartoon Bird:
      First law of animation is, you can't fall if you don't look down. Avery's law.
      8964
        Mrs.Doubtfire: *after seeing Stu choking* Oh no I killed the bastard!
        8963
          Mrs. Doubtfire: Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics?
          Stu: Mrs. Doubtfire, please.
          Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh I'm sorry, am I being a little graphic? I'm sorry. Well, I hope you're up for a little competition. She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her own personal jackhammer. She could break sidewalk with that thing. She uses it and the lights dim, it's like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth.
          8962
            Daniel: [German accent] Ja, my name is Ilsa Immelmann. And I want to know, how many children do you have?
            Miranda: I have two girls and a boy.
            Daniel: Oh, a boy. I don't work with the males, because I used to be one.
            [Miranda hangs up the phone]
            Miranda: Yikes.
            8961
              Miranda: Hello?
              Daniel: AHHHHHHHH! Layla get back your cell! Don't make me get the hose!!
              *softer* Hello?
              Miranda: hangs up quickly.
              8960
                Miranda: Hello, are you calling in response to the ad?
                Daniel: Uh - huh
                Miranda: Tell me, who was your previous employer?
                Daniel: I was in a band, 'Severe Tire Damage.'
                Miranda: In a band?
                Daniel: I just want to know one thing. Are your kids well-behaved? Or do they need like, a few light slams every now and then?
                Miranda: Umm, I'll have to get back to you.
                Daniel: Wow!
                8959
                  Mrs. Sellner, The Social Worker: Oh, by the way. Do you have any special skills?
                  Daniel: Oh, yes, I do. I do voices.
                  Mrs. Sellner, The Social Worker: What do you mean, you do voices?
                  Daniel: [German accent] Well, I do voices...
                  Daniel: [as evangelist] Yes!
                  Daniel: [as martian] We've come to this planet looking for intelligent life. Oops, we made a mistake.
                  Daniel: [as Russian immigrant] Happy to be in America. Don't ask for a green card.
                  Daniel: [as monster] I want you in the worst way.
                  Daniel: [as Groucho Marx] Well this is certainly a rough meeting and it's not going very well for me, I'll tell you that.
                  [as Chico Marx]
                  Daniel: Hey boss, give her a chance. She's gonna loosen up any moment.
                  Daniel: [as Sean Connery] Look at me right now, Moneypenny, I want to undo that bow and get to know you.
                  Daniel: [as a used-car salesman] I'll be crazy to make a deal with you!
                  Daniel: [as Ronald Reagan] Nancy and I are still looking for the other half of my head.
                  Daniel: [as Walter Brennan] This is it! Yes, I'm doing it! I'm sitting on a gold mine!
                  Daniel: [as Humphrey Bogart] Don't make me smack you, sweetheart. I'll do it.
                  Daniel: [as Pudgie] Figaro!
                  Daniel: [normal voice] I do a great impression of a hot dog.
                  [leans back straight, trying to keep a straight face]
                  Mrs. Sellner, The Social Worker: Mr. Hillard, do you consider yourself humorous?
                  Daniel: I used to. There was a time when I found myself funny, but today you have proven me wrong. Thank you.
                  8958
                    Daniel: Could you make me a woman?
                    Frank: Honey, I'm so happy!
                    [hugs Daniel]
                    Daniel: I knew you'd understand
                    8957
                      Cop: Ma'am, are you aware that it's against the law to possess animals of a barnyard nature in a residential area?
                      Miranda: What if you're married to one?
                      8956
                        [at the pool]
                        Stu: Your day's on me, Mrs Doubtfire. Anything you need, just put on my tab, okay?
                        Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, thank you dear.
                        [Stu leaves]
                        Mrs. Doubtfire: Touch me again, and I'll drown you, you bastard.
                        8955
                          Mrs.Sellner:Ms.Hillard Your waters Boiling
                          Daniel:[with cake frosting on his face] Helloo!
                          Mrs.Sellner:AAgh
                          8954
                            Daniel:I do voices
                            Mrs.Sellner:What Do you Mean you do Voices
                            Daniel:Will i do voices
                            Daniel:Yeah!
                            Daniel:We've come to this planet looking for intelligent life... oops we made a mistake

                            8953
                              Jonathan Lundy: "Does your girlfriend have a girlfriend?"
                              Daniel: "Hey, it's the 90's!"
                              8952
                                Daniel: "In the words of Porky Pig, Ya-ba-deeb-a-deeb-a-deeb-a-dee, piss off, Lou"
                                8951
                                  Mrs. Doubtfire: "He was quite fond of the drink. It was the drink that killed him"
                                  Miranda: "He was an alcoholic?"
                                  Mrs. Doubtfire: "No, he was hit by a Guinness truck"
                                  8950
                                    "It was a run by Fruiting" -Mrs. Doubtfire
                                    8949
                                      Mrs. Doubtfire:
                                      The only thing you'll be watching from now on is deep CNN. Now, between the hours of 3 PM and 7 PM, I'm in charge. And when I'm in charge, you will follow a schedule. Those who do not follow the schedule will be punished.
                                      -Mrs. Doubtfire
                                      8948
                                        Mrs. Doubtfire:
                                        Just became a woman and I'm already going through hot flashes.
                                        -Mrs. Doubtfire
                                        8947
                                          Mrs. Doubtfire:
                                          Euphegenia Doubtfire dear, I can Hip Hop, Be Bop, and yo yo myself I mean cuppa cocoa!

                                          -Mrs. Doubtfire
                                          8946
                                            Bossy Nanny:
                                            I do not clean windows, I do not cook meals, I do not take phone calls, I do not read stories, and most of all... I DO NOT CHANGE DIAPERS!
                                            -Bossy Nanny