Mr. Parker: Dadgummit! Blowout!

tis the season to be horry ra ra ra ra ra rara ra!

- waiters in restraunt

Mr. Parker: "Serves you right, you smell buggers!"

"I like the Wizard of Oz... I like the Tin Man."

- Autistic boy with goggles in the line for Santa

Mr. Parker: He's a pink nightmare!

Shut up, Ralphie!
-Old Man (Mr. Parker)

You'll shoot your eye out!
-Numerous characters

The Mall Santa
-HO HO HO!

In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.
-Adult Ralphie

You used up all the glue on purpose.
-Old Man

Mother: Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas?

Adult Ralphie: Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out.

Ralphie: I want an offical Red Rider carbine action two hundred shot range model air rifle.

-Adult ralphie, Mother, Ralphie

I want a red rider 200 shot carbine action range model air rifle with a compass and this thing which tells time built right in the stock.
-Ralphie

Now I know that some of you put Flick up to this, but he has refused to say who. But those who did it know their blame, and I'm sure that the guilt you must feel would be far worse than any punishment you might receive. Now, don't you feel terrible? Don
-Miss Shields

Leave me alone....I'm uh......thinking.
-Ralphie as a kid

He looks like a derranged Easter Bunny.
-Mr. Parker

NOTTAFINGA!
-Mr. Parker

Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra!
-Waiters at restaurant

Oh...fuuuudge...

Only I didn't say 'fudge'. I said THE word; the queen mother of all dirty words -- the F-dash-dash-dash word!
-Ralphie, Narrator

Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beatloaf, I hate meatloaf!
-Randy

Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.
-Old Ralphie