The Muppet Show Quotes

30950

Kermit the Frog:

Uh, Thank You, Thank You. Welcome to a very moment of The Muppet Show. I am very sorry but I have some bad news to tell you.

Waldorf:

I think it made at last.

Statler:

Or maybe the show has been canceled.

Kermit the Frog:

.... The show has been canceled tonight. Well, You see. I just misread my a calender. You see, Tonight we are doing audition for new acts. You are welcome to see it. But I don't think there will be any excitements.

Statler:

Should we stay or should we go?

Waldorf:

I don't know.

Kermit the Frog:

(To Statler and Waldorf) Why don't take a night off? (To the viewers) So, We are very sorry, So good night, everyone. (Audience Groan for disappointment and left the theatre).

23455

Scooter[strumming his guitar] I'm practising my big number for the middle of the show. I hope everyone likes it.

Sheep: Baaahhh, baaahhhh, humbug, humbug!

Scooter: Everyone's a critic!

23454

He shouldn't have jumped. The show's not that bad!

--Statler

23453

Now wait just a minute that's the second time tonight they used a bomb joke?
[BOOM!]
Heh heh heh! Three's a charm!!

--Statler and Waldorf

23452

Do you think this show is educational?
Yes it will drive people to read books.

-Statler and Waldorf

23451

Ladies and gentlemen Statler and Waldorf the two old gentlemen who sit up here have.......

Died!

Fozzie they have not.

-Kermit and Fozzie

23450

You know something I always thought the Muppets were wierd?
Why is that?
They think explosions are funny. Explosions aren't funny......
[A cigar explodes in Waldorf's mouth.]
Although some of them are really quite drole. Heh heh heh!

-Statler and Waldorf

23449

Ooooh, I am so funny.
-Fozzie Bear

23448

kiss your feathers goodbye bird!
misspiggy

23447

a singing pig!
big bird

23446

um foxy lady
misspiggy

23445

Kermit: "Going up, *going up sound* now Paul is someone everyone can look up to."

23444

"THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! AND THANK YOU!!!"
-Marvin Suggs

23443

Miss Piggy and C3P0:

C3P0: She doesn't look like the princess to me.
Miss Piggy: Watch it, hardware!
-Miss Piggy and C3P0

23442

Manah Manah guy:

Manah Manah!
-Manah Manah guy

23441

Statler:

What have you got for an opening act this time? A Chinese gorilla dancing ballet?
-Statler

23440

Animal:

Woman! Woman! Woman!
-Animal

23439

Statler Waldorf:

Statler: Ever heard of pig on bikes? Waldorf: I've never heard of road hogs.
-Statler Waldorf

23438

Kermit:

Yay. Uh, those of you with hearing aids may wish to remove the batteries.
-Kermit

23437

sweedish Chef:

Bork Bork Bork
-sweedish Chef

{"currentPage":1,"totalPages":2,"totalItems":31,"itemsPerPage":20,"url":"\/content\/child\/quote\/4347\/block-contents\/pageN"}