So a guy goes into a, uh, into a talent agent and he says, "Hey, dude, check it out, I got a great act!" And he's like, "It's not a fuckin' prop act, is it?"
It's the perfect joke. Just hearing out loud descriptions of giddy shit-covered incest. And other poems by Maya Angelou.
[talking through his ventriloquist's dummy] Have you ever noticed that when you kick your girlfriend in the CUNT she calls the cops?
I come out, dressed as Hitler in crotchless panties.
They have sex in a kiddie pool full of beef entrails and aborted fetuses.
My grandmother, on the stage, has an abortion! Gives birth to a three-pound Shetland pony! My grandfather is the jockey, comes in third and paid $2.80!
My mother was a golden shower queen.