The Aristocrats Quotes
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    30922
      Carrot Top:
      So a guy goes into a, uh, into a talent agent and he says, "Hey, dude, check it out, I got a great act!" And he's like, "It's not a fuckin' prop act, is it?"
      30921
        Dana Gould:
        It's the perfect joke. Just hearing out loud descriptions of giddy shit-covered incest. And other poems by Maya Angelou.
        30920
          Otto Peterson:
          [talking through his ventriloquist's dummy] Have you ever noticed that when you kick your girlfriend in the CUNT she calls the cops?
          30919
            Andy Dick:
            I come out, dressed as Hitler in crotchless panties.
            30918
              Merrill Markoe:
              They have sex in a kiddie pool full of beef entrails and aborted fetuses.
              30917
                Pat Cooper:
                My grandmother, on the stage, has an abortion! Gives birth to a three-pound Shetland pony! My grandfather is the jockey, comes in third and paid $2.80!
                30916
                  Carrie Fisher:
                  My mother was a golden shower queen.