Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Quotes
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    29041
      Dan Marino: "Cry baby!"
      Ace Ventura: "Jock!"
      Dan Marino: "Wimp!"
      Ace Ventura: "Muscle head!"
      Lois Einhorn: "Shut up!"
      29040
        Ace Ventura: (as Captain Kirk) "Captain's Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the nearest... decimal point. We've... traveled back in time to save an ancient species from total annihilation. So far... no signs of aquatic life, but.. I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole I'm going to find it. I've... got to, Mister!"
        29039
          Ace: "That's it. Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a man! Oh my God! Einhorn is a man!"
          29038
            Woodstock: "What's the password?"
            Ace: "New England clam chowder."
            Woodstock: "Is that the red or the white?"
            Ace: "I can never remember that. White?"
            29037
              Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?
              Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... PORKIN' his wife.
              29036
                Aguado: Is everything all right in here? I thought I heard a commotion.
                Lois Einhorn: Everything's fine seargeant.
                Aguado: You want me to throw him out?
                Lois Einhorn: Why don't you throw yourself out?
                Aguado: Yes, maaam.
                29035
                  Ace Ventura: That's why Roger Podacter is dead. He found Captain Winkie!!!!
                  29034
                    Dan Marino: Hey Ace, got any more of that gum?

                    Ace Ventura: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.
                    29033
                      Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you BETTER be gone.

                      Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two? (throws hands up) I just want to know how much time I have.
                      29032
                        Ace Ventura: "I'm looking for Ray Finkle."
                        *** Cue ball from pool table narrowly misses Ace***
                        Ace Ventura: "That would be a scratch."
                        29031
                          Detective Lois Einhorn: "How would you like for me to make your life a living hell?"
                          Ace Ventura: "Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking."
                          29030
                            Ace:
                            Can you feel that buddy? Huh? Huh? I have excersised the demons, this house is clean
                            -Ace
                            29029
                              Ace and his friend:
                              Ace knocks on the door: What's the password?
                              Ace: New England Clam Chowder
                              Friend: is that the red or the white?
                              Ace: Oh, I can never remember that.........White?
                              -Ace and his friend
                              29028
                                Ace Ventura:
                                Ace Ventura:Like a Glove.
                                -Ace Ventura
                                29027
                                  Ace Ventura:
                                  Ace Ventura:Like a Glove
                                  -Ace Ventura
                                  29026
                                    Ace:
                                    That's why Roger Podacter is dead. He found Captain Winkie.
                                    -Ace
                                    29025
                                      Ace:
                                      Take care now bye - bye then. (door slams) LLLLoser.
                                      -Ace
                                      29024
                                        Ace and Aguado:
                                        Aguado(stepping on a Roach): Uh oh, a homicide! Solve that one!

                                        Ace:Ha! Well first I develope a motive, the perp saw the size of the bug's DICK!!!, and became insanely jealous!
                                        -Ace and Aguado
                                        29023
                                          Ace:
                                          I'm looking for Ray Finkle (shot gun cocked at his face).. and a clean pair of shorts
                                          -Ace
                                          29022
                                            Ace:
                                            Yes Satin?" Oh I thought you were somebody else.
                                            -Ace