Drake & Josh Quotes
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    32212
      Josh's Driving Instructor:
      I hate teenagers.
      Josh:
      Oh yeah, we're the worst!
      31037
        Megan:
        Craig fell of the roof again!
        Eric:
        I'm Eric!
        31036
          Helen:
          Never seen a television you could power by turning a crank. It's like voodoo.
          31035
            Crazy Steve:
            Come on Dora! You're the one with the map! Don't ask me!
            31034
              Crazy Steve:
              What happened to the picture?!?!
              Eric:
              You need to keep cranking it and my arm is getting tired.
              31033
                Craig:
                Can I take a break yet?
                Crazy Steve:
                You will take a break when Dora finds her way to that banana tree! Come on Dora, it's right there! Obre los ojos!
                31032
                  Eric:
                  OK everyone, we have two hours till the show so you have that long to talk and drink some of Josh's world famous limeade.
                  Helen:
                  His limeade tastes like mucus! You watch, this fern is gonna be dead by nightfall!
                  31031
                    Helen:
                    There is is! Rock star Drake Parker and his band whose names I do not know.
                    31030
                      Megan:
                      It's drizzling outside.
                      Drake:
                      Drizzling?
                      Megan:
                      It means a light rain.
                      Drake:
                      I know what drizzling means!
                      31029
                        Drake:
                        It's raining outside! There is water falling from the sky!
                        31028
                          Drake:
                          You're a nerd-how do you stop the rain?!
                          Craig:
                          You can't.
                          Drake:
                          Don't say "can't"-the rain's gotta stop!
                          Craig:
                          Hold on, let me get the Rain Fairy on the phone!
                          31027
                            Josh:
                            But I'm not ready to die! I haven't seen Paris!
                            Drake:
                            They eat snails, the people smell bad, you don't want to go there.
                            30932
                              Drake:
                              I'm writing a song and I can't find a word that rhymes with "orange". Can you help?
                              Josh:
                              Yooka!!!
                              Drake:
                              OK, you have serious rhyming issues.
                              30900
                                Josh:
                                (making a house tour video)This is our living room. A room in which we live.
                                30892
                                  Josh:
                                  Megan? Where did you get a sheep?
                                  Megan:
                                  I bought him on the internet.
                                  Josh:
                                  Oh, excuse me for not being familiar with the-sheep-store.com!
                                  30864
                                    Josh:
                                    Please excuse Drake from doing his homework. He twisted his liver and is unable to read, write, or bathe. Signed, The Doctor.
                                    Drake:
                                    I wrote that myself.
                                    Josh:
                                    Shouldn't the Doctor have a name?
                                    Drake:
                                    Bob the Doctor.
                                    30824
                                      Josh:
                                      I can't pee in here with you watching.
                                      Drake:
                                      Just bend your knees, wiggle your hips and think about waterfalls.
                                      30823
                                        Drake:
                                        Is there an Old Hampshire?
                                        30822
                                          Drake:
                                          There's a New Jersey?
                                          Josh:
                                          Yes. They just opened it.
                                          Drake:
                                          But why is it called "New Jersey" if they've never had a plain old "Jersey"?
                                          Josh:
                                          I don't know. I wasn't at the meeting.
                                          30792
                                            Officer:
                                            You boys are going to learn firsthand what it is like to be arrested, sentenced, booked, processed, and jailed.
                                            Josh:
                                            Jailed?
                                            Drake:
                                            Processed?!