UHF Quotes
    Close
    31056
      George Newman:
      "What do you got there, Bob?"
      Bob:
      "The Ratings."
      George Newman:
      "Don't tell me we showed up on the list."
      Bob:
      "We're number 1."
      George Newman:
      "Say what?!?
      Bob:
      "We beat the networks. This is unbelievable. Look at these notes. We got three shows in the top 5. Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse went through the roof. Do you know what this means? We're finally going to make some real money. George, We are the number 1 station in town!" (Both Geroge and Bob screamed for excitement)
      27909
        George Newman:
        Hey, Kids where do you want to go!
        Boring Kids:
        To Uncle Nutsey's Clubhouse.
        George Newman:
        That's right. I'm your Uncle Nutsey. And boy oh boy. Are we going to have big fun tonight, kids?
        3359
          R.J: "...But, there is one good thing about broadcasting to a town full of mindless sheep. I always know I have them exactly where I want them. (He displays the palm of his hand). Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! "
          3358
            R.J: "I can't stand those sniveling maggots! They make me want to puke!"
            3357
              R.J: (Regarding the citizens) "If you took their combined I.Q. and multiplied it by a hundred, you might have enough intelligence to tie your shoe, if you didn't drool all over yourself first."
              3356
                R.J: "This community means about as much to me as a festering ball of dog snot! You think I care about the pea-brained yokels of this town?"
                3355
                  Stanley: "Friends, there comes a time in every man's life when he has to look the potato of injustice right in the eye."
                  3354
                    R.J: "This is an embarrassment. A disgrace. What do you think R.J. Fletcher Senior would be saying if he were alive today?:

                    Richard: "Help me out of this box, I can't breathe in here. Help, let me out."
                    3353
                      George:
                      What's your name?
                      Billy:
                      Billy!
                      George:
                      Billy What? (Billy spits George)
                      3352
                        George Newman:
                        WE DID IT, THE STATION IS OURS!
                        (Crowd cheers) (Loud exciting music plays) (Exploding Fireworks).
                        Harvey Bilchik:
                        Wow! Look at that!
                        R.J. Fleischer:
                        YOU CAN'T DO THAT!! We have an agreement, Remember?!? An ORAL contract!! I'LL SUE THEM!!
                        John Vector:
                        R.J Fleischer?
                        R.J. Fleischer:
                        Who do you think I am?
                        John Vector:
                        I am John Vector of the F.C.C. I know that your station is late for it's license renewal Now, normally this kind of violation would be punishable by a stiff fine, but I've been watching you lately and you've made a big impression on me. Yeah, I'm revoking your license. Effective immediately, you're off the air.
                        3351
                          Al: (Singing) "Let me be your hog. Let me be your hog now. I said baby, baby, baby, baby, BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY!"
                          3350
                            "Uh-oh. Boppo's been eating - Yappy's Dog Treats!"
                            -George
                            3349
                              Richard Fletcher: (tripping Noodles Macintosh) "Aww, did I do that? Whoopsee!"
                              3348
                                Pamela Finklestein: "Yeah but... broads don't belong in broadcasting? Is that the king of professional courtesy you teach your news department?"
                                R.J. Fletcher: "Why that's just terrible. I don't know how many times I've told those boys never call chicks broads."
                                3347
                                  Earl Ramsey: "Gun control is for wimps and commies. Listen, let's get one thing straight... guns don't kill people... I do."
                                  3346
                                    George Newman: "Sex with furniture...what do you think?"
                                    3345
                                      George Newman: Hi, I'm George Newman. I'm the new station manager.
                                      Pamela Finklestein: Ugh! You know, when I first took this job, they told me that this position would only be temporary, and that eventually, when the time was right, I would be moved up to news which is really my forte. You know how long I've been working here? Two years! It's kind of hard to get promoted when every other week you have a new boss! This job really sucks!
                                      George Newman: This is my friend Bob.
                                      3344
                                        Kid: "I wanna go home!"
                                        George Newman: "Shut up, you little weasel!"
                                        3343
                                          R.J. Fletcher: "People like that should be put to sleep."
                                          3342
                                            Satan: "Look, all I'm trying to say is..."
                                            George Newman: "Oh, shut up, you pin head! You make me sick!"