Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery Quotes
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    2589
      "I would never have sex with you, ever. If you ever the last man on Earth and I was the woman on Earth, and the face of the human race depended on our having sex simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you."-Vanessa
      "What's your point, Vanessa?"-Austin
      2588
        "Care for some sake?"-Alotta Fagina
        "Sake it to me,baby!"-Austin
        2587
          Dr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
          2586
            Austin Powers:
            My god Vanessa's got a fabulous body. And I bet she shags like a minx. How do I tell them that because of the unfreezing process I have no inner monologue? I hope I didn't just say that outloud.
            -Austin Powers
            2585
              Austin Powers:
              Who does number two work for? Who does number two work for?
              -Austin Powers
              2584
                Quartermaster Clerk:
                One Swedish-made Penis Enlarger Pump.
                -Quartermaster Clerk
                2583
                  Austin Powers:
                  Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich.

                  -Austin Powers
                  2582
                    Austin Powers:
                    Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails... whores bath? Personally before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a how's your father!

                    -Austin Powers
                    2581
                      Dr. Evil:
                      Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.

                      -Dr. Evil
                      2580
                        Austin Powers:
                        I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working.

                        -Austin Powers
                        2579
                          Vanessa Kensington:
                          Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.

                          -Vanessa Kensington
                          2578
                            Quartermaster Clerk:
                            One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers.

                            -Quartermaster Clerk
                            2577
                              Austin Powers:
                              I never forget a pussy... cat.

                              -Austin Powers
                              2576
                                Austin Powers:
                                She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride.

                                -Austin Powers
                                2575
                                  Austin Powers:
                                  Yeah, baby, yeah

                                  -Austin Powers
                                  2574
                                    Austin Powers:
                                    That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!

                                    -Austin Powers
                                    2573
                                      Austin Powers:
                                      Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please!

                                      -Austin Powers
                                      2572
                                        Austin Powers:
                                        Does that make you HORNY?

                                        -Austin Powers
                                        2571
                                          Austin:
                                          Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding.
                                          -Austin
                                          2570
                                            Dr. Evil:
                                            That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry Mr. bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE!
                                            -Dr. Evil