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11259
Beefeaters
    Season 1Episode 1
    The Goodies have find who's stealing the beef of the famous Beefeaters at the Tower of London.
    Spoof Ad: The Goodies Tea Set
    11260
    Snooze
      Season 1Episode 3
      Graeme attempts to boost sales of a bedtime drink by making it more potent, as he cures Bill's insomnia but sends the whole country to sleep in the process.
      Main guests: Roddy Maude-Roxby, Corbet Woodall

      Spoof Ads:
      Snooze for country folk
      Snooze for dogs
      11261
      Give Police a Chance
        Season 1Episode 3
        Asked to change the brutish image of the police force, the Goodies become too nice as hippy cops and are arrested to face trial by the real boys in blue.
        Main guests: Paul Whitsun-Jones, Roland Macleod

        Spoof Ads:
        Identikit - Fun For The Whole Family
        The Coppe Shoppe
        11262
        The Playgirl Club
          Season 1Episode 4
          The female Minister for Domestic Affairs wants the Goodies to infiltrate the Playgirl Club to retrieve some scandalous photos taken of her – a job for Tim in his first drag role!
          Main guests: Mollie Sugden, Liz Frazer

          Spoof ad: Goodies spread and bread
          11263
          The Greenies
            Season 1Episode 5
            A holiday in Cornwall becomes less than idyllic thanks to the secretive Army barracks nearby, so the Goodies assist the local vicar in his bid to remove the Army and set up a kids playground
            Main guests: George Benson, Richard Caldicott

            Spoof Ads:
            Westminster Sub-Machine Gun (to stop loony Fairy Puff Girl)
            BBC News with mean moody Robert Dougall in colour
            11264
            Cecily
              Season 1Episode 6
              The Goodies are asked to babysit young Cecily (with Tim as the Nanny!), but lots of strange happenings in a seemingly haunted house make for a spooky time.
              Main guests: Ann Way, Robert Bernal, Jill Riddick

              Spoof Ads:
              Razz Two for One Swap (with Tim as a pepperpot)
              11265
              Radio Goodies
                Season 1Episode 7
                Rejection by the "ruddy GPO' for a broadcasting licence sees The Goodies set up their own pirate radio station and post office outside the 5 mile limit, giving Graeme ideas for grander plans.

                Main guests: Brenda Cowling, Lionel Wheeler

                Spoof Ads:
                Plastic Spacemen (with free cornflake)
                Fingertip Test for Slimming
                11266
                Kitten Kong
                  Season 2Episode 3
                  The Goodies start a Vetrinary clinic, which goes out of hand, when an undersize kitten is fed growth serum, grows to 50 feet tall and attacks the city!
                  11257
                  The Stolen Musicians
                    Season 2Episode 5
                    Tim and Graeme are listening to a [[Symphony]] [[Orchestra]] in an open-air classical music concert. Bill is also present at the concert, but he is listening to [[rock music]] on his radio. Suddenly, some men in dark-coloured suits force the orchestra members to leave the stage. Shocked and disbelieving at what they have just witnessed, the Goodies go home.

                    Both Graeme and Tim are very disappointed. They had been enjoying listening to the orchestral music, and they check the newspaper for some live orchestral music elsewhere, but find that all the live music concerts have been replaced by [[jukebox]] music. Turning on the television to hear classical music, they find that [[Moira Anderson]] is missing — and they are just in time to see [[Kenneth McKellar (singer)|Kenneth McKellar]] being dragged off stage. The live music television programmes are all being taken over by recorded music.

                    The Goodies decide to investigate what is happening and decide to form their own music group so that they would also be stolen. Bill 'tunes' their piano so that all the notes sound identical. When Graeme complains, Bill 'tunes' the keyboard so that the keyboard will play musical tunes when a person moves their hand up and down the keyboard (Graeme makes him change the keyboard back to normal). The Goodies try various types of music, and various musical instruments (including a [[Piano accordion|piano accordion]] which stretches to "the point of no return"). Finally, with Bill playing the guitar, and Graeme programming his computer to play orchestral music, they decide to sing "''Land of Hope and Glory''" — Bill is the principal singer, and Graeme and Tim sing harmony — with Tim receiving help with his harmony in the form of his "glee singers" (two very pretty girls). At the end of the song, they wait to be kidnapped, and are upset when only Tim's "glee singers" are stolen.

                    The next step in their plan to be stolen has the Goodies giving a non-stop [[Woodstock Festival]]-type concert, in which they perform songs as various types of music groups. After a week of performances, they are about to give up their plan as being hopeless, but unbeknown to them, the Goodies have been stolen anyway.

                    They are driven to a house in the country, where they discover the identity of the mysterious being behind the kidnappings, and the reason why the kidnappings occurred. Horrified at what they find, the Goodies plan to right the situation — however, one of their decisions leads to unexpected and unforeseen consequences for themselves.
                    11251
                    The Baddies
                      Season 2Episode 13
                      The Goodies are surprised because everyone is against them. When they go to the local police station, they are informed that they are 'Baddies'. Indeed, while they are in the police station, talking to the Police Sergeant, the Goodies are simultaneously committing offences all over England. When the Police Sergeant accuses the Goodies of the crimes and disruptions, they point out to him that it could not have been them because they were there with him when the offences happened. The Police Sergeant eventually agrees with them.

                      The Goodies are not the only 'nice' people involved in offences. Many other nice people are also simultaneouly committing similar types of offences, and it is interesting to find that all of the people involved are contestants in the "Nicest Person in the World" competition.

                      The Goodies investigate and find that a myterious Dr. Petal is behind the occurrences.

                      So who will be crowned the "Nicest Person in the World" — and what will happen to the Goodies and the other 'nice' people in the competition?

                      11254
                      Camelot
                        Season 4Episode 1
                        Tim says that he is expectng a letter from his Uncle King Arthur. Graeme points out that King Arthur is not Tim's uncle, and Tim responds, "okay, Arthur King", and goes on to point out that his uncle's name is King Arthur on his birth certificate — although Tim does admit that there is a comma between "King" and "Arthur". And the uncle does look 'kingish', and he does live at Camelot — not "Camelot" in Graeme's sense, but "Camelot" as in 31 Acacia Road, Wessex (well .... Solihull). Graeme and Bill mock Tim about it, and Graeme asks Tim if his aunt is Queen Guinevere, and Tim answers "No, of course she's not Queen Guinevere — she's Queen Doris". Tim's other relatives include his Uncle Sir Lancelot, and a parson (the Venerable Bede).

                        Tim's Uncle King Arthur's heralds signal their arrival by blowing their trumpets, and deliver the letter to Tim by hand. Uncle King Arthur writes that he is having trouble with the local Town Planner, and asks Tim to look after "Camelot" while he and the family are on holiday, saying that he will make Tim the Earl of Northumbria, if Tim succeeds in keeping "Camelot" out of the Town Planner's hands.

                        Then, the Town Planner arrives (accompanied by two of his standover men), and he asks the Goodies to sign a release for "Camelot" to be handed over to him (following which "Camelot" can be demolished and replaced by a super-highway). Graeme decides that they should fight for "Camelot".

                        When the Goodies arrive at "Camelot", which is located in an ordinary suburban street, they are surprised to find that "Camelot" is, indeed, a castle — complete with drawbridge and moat. Graeme is determined to keep "Camelot" safe, and he decides to open the castle to the public to help with its financial upkeep. Bill walks into the room dressed in medieval clothes, and Tim arrives dressed as a jester, and immediately tells lots of jester jokes. Then, Tim and Bill sing (and dance) a duet of the Morecambe and Wise song "Bring Me Sunshire".

                        The Town Planner then arrives at "Camelot", and Bill signs over the castle to him, saying that Tim's uncle and aunt would like a 'two up, two down'. Graeme is horrified at what Bill has done, and says that Bill should not have sold the castle. Graeme refuses to hand the castle over to the Town Planner, saying that everyone who comes to the castle has to be dressed in medieval clothes. The Town Planner says that he will be back and take over the castle by vacant possession. Graeme says that they do not intend to leave the castle. However, a fire-breathing dragon, and a woman's screams, succeed in making the Goodies do so and, while they are outside, rescuing the 'damsel in distress' from the dragon, the Town Planner returns and takes over the vacant castle.

                        The Goodies fight the Town Planner and his standover men (by jousting, and other medieval contests), and surprisingly end up winning the 'battle', and so are able to hold onto the castle for Tim's relatives. King Arthur and Queen Doris and their family then return and everything returns to normal at "Camelot" — or does it????

                        11243
                        Invasion of the Moon Creatures
                          Season 4Episode 2
                          Tim and Bill arrive home and are stunned to discover that the door is locked. When they knock on the door, Graeme asks them to tell him the password. Tim comments that they want to come in and have a cup of tea, to which Graeme says: "Wrong!". Then Bill demands that Graeme let them in, so Graeme relents and opens the door.

                          Tim and Bill are amazed at the change to their office, which has been set up like a space control centre. Graeme has agreed to do his bit to put Britain into the space race, by sending two rabbits (called "Floppsy" and "Spiro") to the moon. Bill and Tim comment that it would be very expensive to get a rocket to do this, but Graeme says that he was able to buy a second-hand Saturn rocket from NASA, and that the rocket was parked outside. Tim looks embarrassed and comments that he had just posted a couple of letters in it. Graeme then demonstrates to Tim and Bill how he trains the rabbits for their space voyage, including giving the rabbits stress and gravity tests. The rabbits lift off successfully on their trip to the Moon.

                          Six months later, Graeme is worried because he had lost contact with them — now he was about to send up two more rabbits to the moon to find out what happened to the first two rabbits. Graeme does not want to sacrifice two more rabbits because they are like family to him, so, when the rocket takes off, it is not Graeme's specially trained rabbits which make up the spaceship crew, but Tim and Bill, who are not at all happy, and do not wish to go, but Graeme gets them to go, anyway. After they have taken off, Graeme says "You're looking good", and Tim then looks at his reflection in a compact mirror and thanks Graeme for the 'compliment' regarding his appearance. Bill asks where the food is, and Graeme tells him where to find it. Tim then asks Graeme where the tea is, and Graeme tells him that the tea is above their heads — commenting that they will need to drink the tea through tubes. Tim objects, saying that he would rather drink tea from a cup.

                          Tim tells Graeme that he must telephone home,and Bill points to a telephone box floating past (actually Doctor Who's Tardis). Then there is a meteorite shower and Bill opens a window in the rocket to get a better photo.

                          When the rocket eventually lands on the moon it can be seen, from all the American flags planted in the moon dust, that other people had already been on the moon. Tim and Bill leave the rocket and set about collecting moon dust and sing "By the light of the silvery Earth". They then become aware of all of the lettuces and carrots which are growing in the soil and Tim comments that it must be to feed all the rabbits. It appeared that "Floppsy" and "Spiro" did not perish after all, and, being rabbits, had been breeding prolifically ever since they landed on the moon. Some rabbits carry Tim and Bill into a room, where there is a rabbit on a television screen. Tim recognises the rabbit as "Floppsy". When Tim calls the rabbit "Floppsy", the rabbit comments that he was no longer "Floppsy" — he was now "Big Bunny" and that he was going to turn Bill and Tim into rabbits, so that the rabbits can return to Earth and take over the world. Huge carrots are suspended over Tim's and Bill's heads, and "Big Bunny" demands that they keep repeating the only rabbit comment that people will be able to understand — "Eh, what's up, Doc!". Neither Bill or Tim want to be turned into rabbits, but the rabbits succeed in their quest, and Tim and Bill are sent back to Earth as the vanguard of a rabbit invasion force.

                          When Tim and Bill return to Earth, they are met by fanfare as the first British astronauts to travel to the moon and safely return. Everyone is then shocked to find that Tim and Bill have been turned into rabbits. The two moon creatures (Tim and Bill) then proceed to wreak havoc wherever they go and Graeme has to find a way to stop them.

                          11244
                          The Goodies and the Beanstalk
                            Season 4Episode 4
                            Homeless and penniless, the Goodies have no food and are sleeping on park benches. Graeme and Tim decide to sell their trandem, but Bill is devastated. Bill takes the trandem to the market the next morning, but all he receives is a tin of baked beans.

                            Tim empties the contents of the tin onto Bill's head, but Graeme decides to plant one of the beans. To the Goodies' surprise, a beanstalk shoots up behind them. The beanstalk crosses the English channel and continues to grow along the ground until it reaches the foot of Mount Everest. Bill borrows a flute from a snakecharmer — with the beanstalk then climbing up the side of the mountain and disappearing into some clouds at the top.

                            Tim notices an ad in a newspaper for competitors for It's a Knockout — part of the competition being to climb the beanstalk. With nothing to lose, the Goodies decide to represent Britain. Other countries being represented include Germany and Italy.

                            At the top of the beanstalk, a castle can be seen in the distance. Gaining entry into the castle, the Goodies discover a room with several gold eggs. When they leave the room with as many gold eggs as they can carry, they find themselves in a very large room with a very high ceiling. Then, hearing the words "Fe, Fo, Fi, Fum", they try to hide from the Giant.

                            How will the Goodies cope — and will they be able to return safely home to England again?

                            11246
                            The Race
                              Season 4Episode 7
                              On holiday in France, the Goodies are riding leisurely through the countryside on their trandem when they suddenly become aware of a large number of cyclists riding very rapidly behind them. The Goodies speed up to escape the onslaught, and as a result of this, cross the finishing line of the Tour de France before the competitors. The Goodies are awarded the prize, as the winners of the Tour de France, because of crossing the line in first place.

                              As a result of their success in winning the Tour de France so easily, Graeme becomes obsessed with them winning the Le Mans 24-hour race. However, there is a problem — they don't have a car, and none of the Goodies are able to drive a car.

                              Tim volunteers to drive the car in the race, despite not being able to drive, and Graeme instructs him how to drive (by reading from a book) — doing so in a substitute 'car' consisting of two living room chairs (for driver and passenger), as well as a large plate as a steering wheel, a wooden spoon for the gear shift, and Bill's feet as the brake and accelerator. Tim passes his driving test, and all is ready to go.

                              Graeme designs a sleek-looking racing car, using a photograph of a racing car on which to model his design. He then sets about building a car based on the blue-print of his design. The end result is not anything like the car on the drawing board — it is a chunky strange-looking vehicle, with no windscreen, and special "hand signal" traffic indicators for "turning right", "turning left" and "turning nasty".

                              There is a villain in their midst — Baron de Boeuf, who is determined to win the race at all costs, and who will stop at nothing to achieve this end. The Baron sabotages the cars of all the entrants, with the result that most of the drivers are forced to withdraw from the race. The Goodies, likewise, are left with no car. However, Graeme is determined not to give in, and he modifies their office into a special type of car, with a window becoming the car's windscreen. Baron de Boeuf immediately tries to destroy the Goodies new "car" so that he will have no rival to worry about. Eventually, the Baron is eliminated from the race, but the adventure for the Goodies continues, with a nail-biting conclusion.

                              When all seems lost, Graeme reveals yet another surprising feature of his remarkable car.

                              11247
                              Movies
                                Season 5Episode 1
                                After complaining about the decline of the British film industry, the trio purchase Pinetree Studio in the hope of making some good films. They then fire all the directors, whom they consider to be making films which are either "very boring or extremely pretentious" and decide to make a film themselves.

                                Their attempt to remake Macbeth with less violence and more family interest is a complete failure, and leads to the three Goodies falling out with each other and attempting to make their own films, separately. Bill wants to make a silent comedy, Tim an epic and Graeme a western. As the filming starts, the sets for the three films become intertwined and chaos ensues.

                                11256
                                Clown Virus
                                  Season 5Episode 2
                                  When the Goodies are asked to get rid of a large container, with the words Tomato soup on its side, they take it out to sea in an attempt to ditch it — but without success. They then take the container to their office, where they open it and find a strange-looking mixture inside.

                                  In an effort to make the mixture look more like Tomato soup, and more palatable, they pour red paint into their soup bowls, and they then attempt to eat the mixture. The 'soup' tastes horrible and makes them feel ill. The Goodies sell the remainder of the mixture to British Rail (who intend to serve the mixture as soup), and to service stations (which intend to use the mixture as petrol).

                                  Back at the Goodies' domain, something strange is taking effect — Tim's nose has turned red. Bill comments that he had never noticed that Tim had a small red nose before. Tim states that he does not have a 'small red nose', to which Graeme replies: "No, you don't have a small red nose - you have a BIG red nose!". Tim is turning into a clown — closely followed by Bill and Graeme also turning into clowns.

                                  The Goodies discover that people, everywhere, are turning into clowns, and come to the conclusion that the 'soup' was not soup after all — but something far more sinister.

                                  11241
                                  Wacky Wales
                                    Season 5Episode 4
                                    The Goodies receive an invitation, from the Reverand Llewellyn Llewellyn Llewellyn Llewellyn, to attend an Eisteddfod in Wales.

                                    When they meet the Reverend, they find that he is amazed that the Goodies want to eat and drink tea etc. He tells them that eating, drinking tea, and other such activities are sinful. The Reverend is with the Church of the Seventh Day Repressionists, and the church has disallowed anything that could even be remotely construed as fun.

                                    At this point, Bill is ready to leave and go home. Graeme, however, decides that the Goodies should stay, and remain as competitors in the Eisteddfod, and to be as entertaining as possible. As a consequence, they put on an enthusiastic display of entertainment, and they bring down the wrath of the Reverend on their heads.

                                    The Reverend decides to sacrifice the Goodies. Before he sacrifices the Goodies. he leads his congregation in a devotional song, which just happens to be a well-known rugby song. The Goodies, recognising the song, throw themselves into singing in full voice. This surprises the Reverend. When the Goodies press this temporary advantage by pretending to be Welsh, the Reverend declares that he can't kill fellow Welshmen, tells them that his church worships the game of rugby, and invites the Goodies to join them. Tim declines on the basis that they are Church of England. The Reverend claims that his is the greatest religion, and Tim challenges him to prove it. This results in the "Ecclesiastical Rugby Sevens" competition, in which various teams made up from churchmen from religious groups play against each other (one of the Seven Rugby teams is made up entirely of Derek Nimmos).

                                    Eventually, the Seventh Day Repressionists win the tournament, and their celebrations are less than holy. Tim discovers that half of the Welsh rugby national team is playing with the Repressionists, and he disqualifies the team because they had brought in nonreligious players. The Repressionists take offence at being denied their rightful position as winners, and decide to use the Goodies as footballs in a rough informal game of Rugby.

                                    The Goodies' experiences with the Repressionists have a weird and unusual effect on them all, and life is never quite the same again.

                                    11250
                                    Scatty Safari
                                      Season 5Episode 6
                                      The boys latest venture is a safari park, but instead of animals, it features well-known celebrities, after they lose their star attraction, Tony Blackburn (a popular radio DJ at the time), the guys journey to Australia to capture Rolf Harris, soon they find another Rolf Harris, and they have a baby Rolf Harris, but soon the UK is flooded with Rolf Harrises and it's up to the Goodies to catch them all.
                                      11240
                                      Kung Fu Kapers
                                        Season 5Episode 7
                                        Bill teaches Tim and Greame the aincent martial art of Ecky Thump!
                                        Episode became infamous after somebody died watching it!
                                        11245
                                        Lighthouse Keeping Loonies
                                          Season 5Episode 8
                                          The Goodies answer a newspaper advertisement for light housekeeping. The Goodies are accepted and find that the advertisement should have said, "lighthouse keeping".

                                          The lighthouse they are taken to is the sinister "Jollyrock Lighthouse", where lighthouse keepers have been disappearing.

                                          Bill objects to everything in the lighthouse being round. Even the cards and chessboard are round.

                                          There is a very heavy fog and a large ship comes near the lighthouse. As it passes, a white glove can be seen waving.

                                          Tim goes upstairs to have a bath, while Graeme checks the light. The light has gone out and extra fuel is required. Graeme sends Bill to dig under the lighthouse to find more fuel. Evenually, Bill finds something, but he can't see, so he asks Graeme to drop a match though the opening, which Graeme does. They both suddenly realise, too late, that having a lit match is very dangerous amongst the oil that Bill has found. All of a sudden there is a terrific roar and the lighthouse takes off at enormous speed.

                                          There is great excitement from an astronomer (Patrick Moore) about the 'new comet'. There is also news about the taking off of the 'rocket', and the 'Aliens are already here' group is also excited (Tim, in his bathcap, having been noticed sitting at a porthole — actually the bathroom window of the lighthouse).

                                          The lighthouse slows down enough to go into orbit around the Earth — but, where will the lighthouse eventually land?