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    Dave Stewie (Christopher Meloni) is a middle school PE teacher who sees a forthcoming award as a way to redeem himself of his greatest regret, a failure to make the 1988 US Olympic Team. Meanwhile, Roland Waffle (Nathan Kress) is a new transfer student who is completely non-athletic and wears a helmet at all times due to his mother worrying he will get hurt. Abby Hoffman (Amy Sedaris) is the principal who carries "a Filipino fighting stick" to assault night prowlers lurking after school.