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System 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 74809	And that man's name was Howard Warshaw (The Uwe Boll of Atari) We gotta keep going! How about the Phillips Zelda CD-I games?

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Egon_Spangler 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 1785	Bob: Ok, our deal with nintendo on a CD based system fell through. There is no way our current system is going to make any money. Pack up your things gentlemen, it's over. Jim: But they did license us three game package. We could force them to make good on that deal, even though it isn't exactly what they had in mind when they made the promise. Bob: That's a brilliant idea Jim!! Will it work? Jim: Yep, how do you think I landed my first wife?
	"Now it makes me sad It makes me mad at truth For loving what was you"
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System
8 years 4 months ago
Posts: 74809
Ah, Man that's classic!

Let's see.......

I want to hear the real story behind the Power Glove now.
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Egon_Spangler 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 1785	Bob: We need to make a new peripheral that will make people think they are playing games in a different way, but actually does not change the control interface at all. That way we can sell it, but it will be compatable with every game we've already made and the programmers won't have to think of new ways to program. Jim: What about a controller that will let them control the game with their minds? Bob: That's been done: Jim: Hmm, how about some sort of awkward glove and rod setup. We'll graft a controller onto the back. That way we'll make them think it's a different way to play, when it's the same input. Bob: But won't they realize that and get upset? Jim: No way man, I'll just make simple activities like puching the A button the most awkward and uncomfortable motions possible. Motions not really acheivable without dislocating your wrst. They will get tired of using it way before they realize it's not better in any way at all. Bob: Sounds like another winner. I guess it will take triple A batteries? Jim: Nope, I'll make it corded so the little bastards will try and play punch out like a real boxer and rip their console from the TV and onto the floor, increasing unit sales. Bob: You're promoted!
	"Now it makes me sad It makes me mad at truth For loving what was you"
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System 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 74809	"But I love the power glove......Its so bad." But it did LOOK cool even if it was worthless for gaming. Okay, Looking at our other threads what about Goonies II?

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Egon_Spangler 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 1785	Bob: Ok folks. I skipped the toll booths on the way here, with the change I saved I bought the rights to make a Goonies game. Only probelm is it wasn't enough to licene anything but the name "Goonies": and a few of the characters. Any ideas? Jim: I still have the original programming for Dr. Chaos. We could just make the game a bunch of rooms. ANd Yoyo's are cool. Bob: And I really liked that Tom Hanks movie Splash. COuld we get a mermaid in there for no apparent reason? Jim: I'll get right on it after I eat these, want one? Bob: Ewww, no. Who puts oregano in bronies?
	"Now it makes me sad It makes me mad at truth For loving what was you"
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System 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 74809	LOL! I can easily see these becoming a daily web strip or something. What other classics are there? How about Mario's Time Machine?

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Egon_Spangler 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 1785	Oh man, that one will be a little harder cause I liked that game. Bob: Ok, well I understand you guys completed the Carmen Sandiego project. Jim: Yes we did. It may very well be our finest acheivement! Bob: Well we couldn't get the license. Apparently, even though it contains a place name, it isn't public domain. We're going to need to scrap that. Jim: Ok.... Bob: We need another mario venue. So, I'm going to need that by tomorrow. Jim: I think I have just the game....
	"Now it makes me sad It makes me mad at truth For loving what was you"
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System 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 74809	Ooh! Touchy subject matter, I like it! Well I'm SURE you didn't like.........Superman 64. Love to hear that story.

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Egon_Spangler 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 1785	Have to admit, I never played it. Once you get away from NES/SNES you're a little out of my satire range, sadly.
	"Now it makes me sad It makes me mad at truth For loving what was you"
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System
8 years 4 months ago
Posts: 74809
Damn a wasted post!

Alright what about Bible Adventures?
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Egon_Spangler 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 1785	Bob: Ok, so the folks at Nintendo made a killing off of Doki Doki panic. They took it and put al the mario folks in there. It killed. Let's do the same thing. Jim: That's a good idea, but after shelling out the money for the rights to James Pond we couldn't even afford to have it licensed by Nintendo. Bob: Hmmm. Well, God doesn't charge any royalties does he? I see that one guy on TV making all sorts of money off the big guy and I don't think he takes a cut of it. Jim: Good idea. I'll take the mario three engine and put some bible stories over it. But Nintendo still needs money to license the cartridge. Bob: God helps those who help themselves. Sometime later Bob:.... I dunno, are you sure Noah is supposed to hit the animals..... Jim: Yep!
	"Now it makes me sad It makes me mad at truth For loving what was you"
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System
8 years 4 months ago
Posts: 74809
Couldn't resist commiting blasphemy there.

Let's see...........MC Kids!
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Egon_Spangler 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 1785	Bob: Well guys, I'm afraid we're tanking. The game market is going down, kids are playing on something called "Pogo Bals" and riding bikes. If we don't get some major funding we're done. Jim: You know. If we somehow make a game that glorified high cholesterol foods and made it seem like you could have a magical adventure at a fast food franchise then not only would that franchise give us a large sum, but the kids would be too tired and bloated to do anything but sit and play our games. Bob: Yeah, but what fast food mogul would be heartless and evil enough to enter a deal like that? Jim: The same one that makes billions a year on degrading the health of an entire country, yet only donates their customers leftover pennies to orphans.
	"Now it makes me sad It makes me mad at truth For loving what was you"
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System
8 years 4 months ago
Posts: 74809
How about Sonic the Hedgehog CD?
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System 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 74809	Baloo wrote: How about Sonic the Hedgehog CD? I think his expertise only extends to NES/SNES. But I'll try something different...........How about Custer's Revenge?

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System
8 years 4 months ago
Posts: 74809
then how about Aaah Real Monsters?
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Prehistoricturtlesaurus 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 156	Mystic Quest or maybe that's just the most boring.
	Cowabunga! Reaper wrote: Brimstone is NOT flatulence!
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Egon_Spangler 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 1785	Actually, Atari, NES, SNES and Sega Genesis. Also some old PC games. I played games after that and love dthem, but they just aren't as ripe for satire, in my opinion. I will get to your games in order of request. I had actually fallen asleep. I generally sleep during daylight hours.
	"Now it makes me sad It makes me mad at truth For loving what was you"
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System 8 years 4 months ago Posts: 74809	Egon_Spangler wrote: Actually, Atari, NES, SNES and Sega Genesis. Also some old PC games. I played games after that and love dthem, but they just aren't as ripe for satire, in my opinion. I will get to your games in order of request. I had actually fallen asleep. I generally sleep during daylight hours. Your fans await you!

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