• 4 months 18 days ago
    • Posts: 1
    Greetings to you all.

    I'm Pastor John and I will give you teachings in this thread - the online Retro Church.

    In today's service I will talk to you about one of the sins. Benchmarklessness. Benchmarklessness is the act of calling non-retro items or eras "retro". The Retro Bible states that only retro items shall be referred to as retro.

    So what is a retro item or era? Let's read:

    "A retro item or era is one that meets the Holy Criteria at the back of the Retro Bible."

    If you look at the back of your Retro Bible and an item or era fails to pass the Holy Criteria, it should not be called "retro" lest you commit the sin of Benchmarklessness.

    Now let us sing a hymn in the name of Lord Retrospect

    "He makes us love old toys
    That we loved as girls and boys
    We pray, everyday
    in any retro way

    The legends never told
    About the ancient gold
    Lost in our attic
    But magic not static

    The retro gems are there
    The retro voice we hear
    Praise to Retrospect
    Praise to Retrospect
    Praise to our Lord"

    That concludes today's service. May us all have a good week. Until next time. Amen.
    Are you sure you want to delete this post? Yes | No
      • 4 months 18 days ago
      • Posts: 2316
      • Forum Mod
      • Editor
      Hmm. I won't ban you yet, just keep your sermons confined to this thread.
      Are you sure you want to delete this post? Yes | No
        • 4 months 17 days ago
        • Posts: 690
        vkimo wrote:
        Hmm. I won't ban you yet, just keep your sermons confined to this thread.


        Thanks for this. It's to early to tell...but this seems like someone I want to avoid.
        Are you sure you want to delete this post? Yes | No
        Search
        Users Online