Thank you for reading this to begin with...Sorry about the grammar I'm on my cell. I feel that most of the responses I would get from here would be mature so let me begin. Me and my wife have been together since 2006 married in 2011. Happy marriage maybe 2 or 3 heated discussion in 7 years. The problem is we work separate hours. She gets up at 4 and works 5am-2pm...I get up at 5am to get my step daughter ready for Junior High and she leaves at 6:40 which is the time I get my 6 year old ready for Kindergarten who leaves about 8:15...Which usually leaves me alone from 815 until 2 p.m. When I go to work.I work at a liquor store from 2 p.m. Till 8 p.m. Sometimes 9 or 10 at night.we no longer have a car so I usually walk home and sometimes I'm not home till 1045 at night.my wife right now is suffering from self esteem issues and depression some of that may stem from the fact that we do not get to see each other as much as we would like with our work hours conflicting.also one of the problem is is I work alone as in most instances people who work in convenience stores work at least with someone else I sometimes spend 12 to 14 hours away from my family. Another problem is the fact that my wife gets to work with numerous people one of them happens to be a male. I am NOT a jealous person by nature but it does bother me being a married man.the problem I have is that she texts him while I am at home with her. 1 time as I was heading to bed she was sending him texts in our own bed. I should mention that this male friend of hers is a coworker though. They both work at Walmart together which is where we met when I was working there. He is a CSM which is like a manager for the cashiers she works in an office and deals with him all the time. They were texting about work she even showed me but I was still a bit worried. Is that wrong of me. I have been cheated on before but I do not believe that is what she would do. As I stated earlier we have never really had any marriage problems at all. We both love each other. As I stated before 2 my wife is 35 I am 33 we are going to become grandparents I believe that scares her and she has told me as well.her daughter who is pregnant is 20 my wife had her at a young age she was only 15. She is scared of being a young grandma. Part of her has told me that she is scared and wants to experience more life or just in general be able to go out. We have a6 year old daughter and 11 year old daughter a 20 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. We never have much time to go out her parents have both passed away.my mother has some issues and it is hard to have her babysit.so it gets hard to have time together but not with me working evening hours she has developed a male friend and I am afraid that she is developing an emotional affair with this man. He has just recently separated from his girlfriend so he is single and he is straight. The girlfriend had broken up with him. I do not know him all that well even though we had work together for close to a year we were in separate departments. I do trust my wife. Could use to not like where this is going. She has stated that she would find it uncomfortable if I had a female friend over. The first time he visited my house was when I was at work for the evening. Our kids were there though.just this past Tuesday I was working another evening shift at my job I was set to get off at 8 o'clock. At 750 I received a text telling me that her friend was over there. I was a little annoyed to say the least. Tuesday was payday I get paid every Tuesday. She had taken my debit card earlier in the day to buy groceries for the house and to make lasagna for dinner. Of course that made me pretty happy the lasagna that is. I was looking forward to going home and spending the time my night with my wife and kids until then.when I heard that I would have rather went to the local bar and found a couple beers but I couldn't because I had no money because it was on my card. So now I had nothing to eat or drink at my work still on my feet for 7 hours and then had to walk home to meet my wifes male friend.it is true she was playing video games as were the kids with him there was really nothing going on but still a kind of eats at me that when she was lonely she wants to spend time with him. As I stated before we are going to be grandparents and that scares her she is also jealous of a friend of hers who has lost a significant amount of weight. She is a big woman and suffers from self esteem issues as previously stated and I worry about her I love her. But I do know that if I say I love her and that she is beautiful it's just the husband telling her that. And that's what bothers me. Maybe she wants another male to tell her she's beautiful. Or just spend time with her since I cannot.tonight I talked to her on the phone while I'm at work. She has told me he would be coming over actually she asked if it was okay.I think she cares if I'm happy with it just that I'm okay with
that I'm okay with it. To top it off she asked if they had a couple drinks because him and a friend might come over around 10 o'clock at night now I get off at 9 so I will be there but she asked if it was okay if they got drunk if he could spend the night. Should I be jealous do you think there is something going on?I will say this I am jealous that she can make new friends at her work well I work alone so I guess kind of hard to get jealous. I have 4 or 5 close friends but one is in the start of a new relationship another has to take care of his father and child another is suffering some from severe stomach problems in the fourth has a child and another one on the way so he and works full time. So when I get home to my house I usually have no one over but she does that might feed my jealousy. My main question is does it sound like my wife could be cheating since I believe she might be going through a midlife crisis or does it sound like I have nothing to worry about nm just overanalyzing everything?
First off, props on dictating all that on your phone. Must have took forever.
My girlfriend and I had a similar situation to yours. We're not married and don't have kids, but we've been dating almost 3 years. She had a few guy friends from college she would text, one guy she would text constantly. I'm pretty old school so it pissed me off. A lot of guys will say, "I'm not the jealous type", but I am. Jealousy experienced by a even minded person in a relationship is usually an indicator something is wrong.
Your circumstances seem pretty tough, and the situation in general is pretty touchy. However, she's your wife. I think it's incredibly disrespectful when another man starts to regularly socialize with a female in a relationship. Believe me, he's no friend of yours. If they were just texting business matters, he wouldn't be coming over. They shouldn't have even exchanged numbers to begin with!
If I were you, I'd have a no BS open conversation with your wife. Tell her you think it's inappropriate to be talking to him. I know it's the 21st century blah blah, but the only male companionship a married woman should be having is with her husband! You have to ask yourself, would this guy be hanging around all the time and texting if he thought your wife was ugly? HELL NO!
Just don't blow your stack, that always makes things worse.
When she asked me if they could spend the night if they got drunk, that would have been the last straw for me. That is terribly irresponsible parenting, and she needs to know this. This thing has gone too far my friend. Time to reel it in.
I'd like to say thanks to all the responses...We're actually pretty good its just that she's always had more male friends than female but I guess because he isn't part of our circle of friends that I got jealous. And the reason I posted it on here instead of an anonymous site for relationship advice is many of those people are already jaded and looking to give bad advice. Most not all lol of the people here usually are fairly mature. Thanks though.
Well I don't think it's cool for a married woman to have male friends in the house while her husband is away; despite not wanting to seem jealous, it's just not a good habit to start, also your lack of jealousy might be inadvertently fueling her self esteem issues. When she asked you if it was cool for him to come over you should have been honest and said no because I don't think you were very happy about it. This other guy may have taken that as a sign of weakness as well, now he wants to sleep over (pounce), I don't like the direction this is going. Like ghost of vapor said, you need to reel it in before this gets out of hand and a "mistake" happens. You seem like a pretty considerate person; because of that some might try and take advantage of your kindness, and take you for stupid. No offence to you but nut up and put your foot down.
Once when I was gone on business my wife went out with some of her friends from her gym and their personal trainer, who is a male. I wasn't that jealous but I still let her have it just because of the principle of the whole thing. People will instinctively take advantage of the week to get what they desire, you have to demand your respect or become a victim of human nature.
Being a married man myself this situation really pisses me off, you have enough to worry about between raising all those kids and working like a slave, you don't need this additional crap.
Sounds like your wife is not respecting your feelings. You two need to reconnect. Weekly "date night" would be nice. Just the two of you. (Your 20 year old ought to be able to babysit sometimes. Especially if she is living with you.) Even if it is just movie and popcorn. And sex, bklynbren is right, even if he was joking.
If your wife can have a friend over for dinner there is no reason you can't.
As for Dyzfunk7ional, he probably means this would be better in Users Thoughts or Bitching and moaning.
Well, now that you've started this thread let us know of further developments.
Quote by tangspot2
Mrs. stake you say some nasty on my threads. Dirty bitch
A former friend of mines ex-girlfriend kept calling me and wanting me to hang out with her and her new boyfriend. I did go to their apartment once, but mostly just talked to her on the phone. It was just weird on so many levels. Both my friend and her new boyfriend was fine with it, but it didn't feel right. This started because at one point I got her a job where I work and we had become better friends. It was fine talking to her when I visited my friend and when we worked together, but not after they broke up and she got a new boyfriend. I eventually just stopped returning her phone calls which I know had to have hurt her feelings, but I knew it was for the best.
Having friends of the opposite gender is fine at work and on social media like Facebook, but they shouldn't be hanging out when the spouse isn't around. I mean if for any other reason because people will get the wrong impression. Too often sexual urges can get the best of people and the temptation can become too strong.
Your situation Thegreatshow is an example of why I don't thing progressivism is always a great thing. I think relationships are something that should remain more traditional. People criticize me for saying it, but its true. I wont get off topic with examples, but in your case the other dude has to go unless he's gay. If she can't respect that then maybe you guys should look at the future of your relationship.