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- 5 years 1 month ago
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Alright, first of all, let's start with a long nonfiction poem about the infamous Kevin Costner bomb that was 1995's Waterworld.
Settle down my children and all of you will hear,
About how the Waterworld disaster came to be.
First of all, that title is given to a 1995 post-apocalyptic sci-fi movie
That is directed by Kevin Reynolds.
It is the fiasco movie that is co-written by Peter Rader and David Twohy
And Based on Rader's own original 1986 screenplay, perhaps
And is produced by none other than, its star,
The one and only Kevin Costner,
One of the Ed Woods of our times.
And it's released and distributed by Universal Studios, too!
Now, Waterworld is a follow-up project, perhaps,
To the last collaboration between two men named Costner and Reynolds,
The 1991 Medieval-Style movie, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
It was co-written by David Twohy who would also write
G.I. Jane, Pitch Black and even the Chronicles of Riddick.
Twohy has Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior as one of the major inspirations,
A film that also had Dean Semler as the director of photography.
As for the roles of the Deacon, only Dennis Hopper,
The guy who directed Easy Rider, accepted that role,
Right after Gene Hackman, James Caan and even Gary Oldman
All passed on playing the Deacon of the Deez.
And of course, the role of Enola, the girl with the exotic tatoo
On her back, was first given to Anna Paquin.
While production commenced under the watchful eye of Costner,
The movie was soon notorious as it was riddled with cost overruns
And production setbacks as well.
Well, Universal Pictures, the distributor, once authorized
An initial budget of one hundred million dollars.
The escalating of the production costs, however,
Would run for an estimated one hundred and seventy-five million dollars,
A record sum for a film production
Two years before James Cameron's 1997 movie, Titanic
Came along after the infamous bombing of Waterworld
At the box office.
Filming commenced in a large artificial sea water enclosure
Very similar perhaps to that used perhaps,
In the 1997 James Cameron film Titanic two years later.
The Pacific Ocean that stood for Waterworld,
Was right off the coast of the fiftieth united state of America,
The exotic islands of Hawaii.
The last scene in the movie, was probably filmed in
Waipio Valley, also known as, The Valley of the Kings,
Which is located, perhaps, on the Big Island of Hawaii itself.
Additional filming would also take place, perhaps,
In Los Angeles, In Hollywood, In Huntington Beach,
And In Santa Catalina Island of the Channel Islands,
Also, in the Golden State of California.
Costner the Mariner, was on set for about 157 days,
Which would consume almost 6 months of performance.
At one course, he was nearly killed during a squall,
While being tied to the mast of his trimaran.
A man named Laird Hamilton, the lord of the big wave riders,
Was Costner the Mariner’s stunt double for his many water scenes.
While commuting to the Waterworld set by jet-ski,
Hamilton was lost at sea when it ran out of fuel between Maui and Hawaii.
Drift for many hours, he went, before he was spotted by a Coast Guard,
And he was saved from death in the sea.
When the jet ski whom he abandoned ship,
Went ashore on Lanai Isle,
Laird went all the way to Lanai to fetch it and he drove it back home again.
Norman Howell, The stunt coordinator of Waterworld the Movie,
Was filming a underwater scene
When he was struck by decompression sickness
And was rushed to a Honolulu hospital
By ways of helicopter.
He fairly recovered quickly from that potentially life-threatening sickness
And he returned to the set about two days later.
Jellyfish Candy was the nicknamed that Costner the Mariner
Give to Tina "Helen" Majorino when she received
The three Jellyfish stings during Waterworld’s making.
As for the original score by Mark Isham,
Costner reportedly rejected it because it deem to him
Too ethnic and too bleak by contrast
Of the futuristic and adventurous tone of the movie.
A composer named James Newton Howard,
Would write the new music score
And would go on to compose the Disney movie, Dinosaur,
The films of M. Night Shyamalan, and of course,
With Hans Zimmer, Batman Begins and the Dark Knight.
Someone named Joss Whedon flew to the set
To do last minute revisions of the script
And he will called it the Seven Weeks of Hell.
As for the clear winner of the film’s production,
There is only one
And that is the United States' fiftieth state, Hawaii.
The State of Hawaii pour more then thirty-five million dollars
Into its state economy as a result of the colossal production
That was the movie Waterworld itself.
Rumors and legend has it,
That Costner the Mariner dismissed Reynolds the Prince of Thieves
As the director of Waterworld when it notoriously ran overbudget
And Costner shot the last few scenes all alone.
But there are others, who said that Reynolds was not dismissed,
For he walked off the set before the filming end in two weeks.
And that was the end of Costner and Reynolds’ friendship.
It came too late for Waterworld to become a success.
With all the problems encountered during filming,
Problems that led to a massive overrun of the budget,
It was held the rather dubious distinction
Of becoming the most expensive film ever made
By the year of our lord,
Nineteen hundred and ninety-five.
Some of the critics even called Waterworld
Names like Fishtar and Kevin's Gate.
With its one hundred and seventy five million dollar budget,
It earned a mere eighty eight million dollars
Which seem to make it the biggest flop of all time.
If adjusted for inflation and even expressed in United States dollars
From the year of our lord, Two Thousand and Six
Its budget was probably two hundred and thirty one point six million dollars
But it grossed one hundred and sixteen point eight million dollars
At the American Box Office instead.
But alas, it did much, much better outside America
With one-hundred and seventy-six million dollars at the foreign box office
For a total of two hundred and sixty four million dollars
And good videocassette and digital videodisc sales.
There are mixed contemporary reviews for the film.
Said Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun Times:
"The cost controversy aside,
Waterworld is a decent futuristic action picture,
With some great sets, some intriguing ideas,
And a few images that will stay with me.
It could have been more,
It could have been better,
And it could have made me care about the characters.
It's one of those marginal pictures you're not unhappy to have seen
But can't quite recommend."
Now, just remember, my children,
That’s no way to make a huge movie like that.
Also, here's one clip from that infamous movie where Costner the Mariner kills and eats a briefly-glimpsed but garguantuan-sized sea monster, which, to me, looks like a fish so big it could swallow Kevin Costner. Here it is at Hulu.com:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/22665/waterworld-fishing
So, what is the metaphor for this poem? And what is the moral for it? If you watch that sea monster clip that I posted, describe the sea monster for me please, even though it's briefly glimpsed. Also, what did ya think of Waterworld?Are you sure you want to delete this post? Yes | No